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Why do I bother?

Five minutes of Christian Kane is not worth this Spielberg crap. The Indians get Jedi'd and the whites (good, bad, and ugly) are just annoying. Also just looking at land that flat makes me shudder. Mostly I wonder if my ancestors back then were as cynical as I am.

/gratuitous insertion effect/

INDIAN GUY, in subtitles: We are a proud and simple people. Running Nose and Smokes Peyote have had many dreams of men in blue coats like you. Blah blah blah.

WHITE GUY: This land is our land, this land is our land...

ME: Stupid motherfuckers. Damn, it's flat out here. Why do they keep giving Spielberg money? He hasn't made a decent movie since Schindler's List and even that was appalling in its minimalization of historic events and overuse of Liam Neeson peeing. Since when did historical epic become synonymous with "longwinded and boring"? Oh yeah, with STEVE. At least we can thank whatever little dying god is out there that Tom Hanks isn't in this sucker.

WHITE GUY: But, but, we have Keri fucking Russell!

INDIAN GUY, in broken English: We give many cow for Keri fucking Russell!

ME: Yes, and that is why you truly lost the west. Now go whine about your cultural loss while running multimillion nontaxable casino-things.

/end gratuitous insertion effect/


( 4 comments — Add your .02 )
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 25th, 2005 04:29 am (UTC)
What can I say? I must channel my pain in constructive ways. Jeesh I'll be glad when Stargate comes back with Ben Browder and I won't feel obligated to sit through hours of "Damn were things bad back then! BAD we say! People were RACIST! And MEAN! And obsessed with bad things like GOLD and WHORES!" for fifteen minutes of Whedon people (those guys owe me. So. much!). And Sean Astin's supposed to show up eventually also: I never knew for *sure* Mordor was in Utah but I always half-suspected....
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 27th, 2005 01:33 am (UTC)
About a LOT of things actually!
( 4 comments — Add your .02 )

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