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Real life flailiness

So first off, I had a chat with my dissertation chair today that basically consisted of me going

"FLAILFLAILFLAIL IfeellikeIdon'tknowwhatI'mdoing but I have this VAGUE PLAN and here's THIS THING I've done and I'm waiting to hear on this conference and I'd like to apply to take these classes in the summer at these places FLAILFLAIL"

and her going

"LOL relax you're at the beginning, try to have some fun while you think about what directions for your research to take, those all sound like great ideas, you're fine"

and now I'm all


It's funny, but you know how you're a little ball of stress and then you can relax a bit, and you go, MAN, I was a ball of stress, and now I don't feel it so much? 'Cause that's been me for the last two months, basically, stressing about applications and stuff. I mean, I'm STILL doing that, but I feel more positive about it. Basically my plan for the next couple weeks is to send in my applications to take a course on Digital Bibliography at Rare Book School and then get some funding from Liberal Arts for it. There's also a typecasting workshop at the Wells Center for Book I want to take, and I'm applying for both a scholarship and an internship out of optimism. It may be tough because those things are aimed at book arts students, but I want to make an argument about being a book historian who wants book arts experience so I can better understand how things are made. That makes sense, right? Anyway I need to collect letters for those. And I also want to apply for a fellowship to Chawton House, but I swear their online catalogs are nonsensical, so I've written the librarians a query hoping for some help.

All of this basically happens to happen before mid-February, btw.

I have some other writing deadlines, but that's a whole other kettle of fish I'm working on.

OH. Other good news! Todd's going to help move my press to CO this summer, so I can finally start working on some of my other art projects. I have two bookbinding projects I need to get onto, but I've been distracted thinking about how to actually DO them (one is for a friend's wedding album and I want to make it pretty and she basically gave me a box of photos and such, and it's like, um, actually preserving someone else's memories is fucking TERRIFYING when it comes down to it. Like what if I paste in a picture of Person Y when she actually much prefers Person X?! Oy. Oy oy oy.)

Anyway, that's me. That's all.

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