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Spoiler alert, just so you're aware--Smaug is actually Khan.

So much to love. Everything about Thorin and Bilbo--I didn't even NEED my slash goggles, you guys, the love was just THERE. Armitage and Freeman just sold the hell out of that, especially in the last scene. Aw man. I need fix-it fics and AUs stat.

Galadriel getting her power on. Saddened she didn't have her golden armor--there's a scene of her walking barefoot that just felt so much more like Joss Whedon filming River Tam than Peter Jackson filming Galadriel. But it's like, yeah, THIS is the only woman who was in the rebellion of the Noldor, you know, basically Naamah or Lucifer's little sister. Just, I need more of that, though I could have done without the green Ring-high make-up they gave her. (You'd think an immense expellation of Elvish power would just be pure white, because they are lit by stars, right? Ah well. Visual misstep.)

I *love* how the ghostly Ringwraiths looked, especially in 3D. I kind of hope one day PJ does a Lucas and replaces the Pirates of the Caribbean ghosts in ROTK with guys like these, because they are beautiful and cold and scary.

Tauriel/Kili/Legolas. This felt rushed in a lot of ways, and I hope they do better in the Extended Edition. The conclusion especially, Tauriel's crying over Kili and Thranduil explains that it hurts so much because her love was real, and Legolas is like "I'm gonna go now" and Thranduil says, "'Kay, check in on that Strider kid. Also your Mom loved you lots." Some stuff got left here on the cutting room floor and--what? There's a bit earlier where Legolas shows Tauriel where his Mom died and...this is coming from PJ & crew because it's not in the texts as I recall (mostly because of the days of the Henneth Annun Archives which brooked no fanfic that wasn't canon compliant and so there were some interesting speculations about Thranduil's queen). Also--isn't it canon that Elves just up and die when their mates die? So...how is Thranduil functioning? Does that mean he and his wife didn't really love each other? I need more info.

Anyway, I was fully expecting for Tauriel to either die in battle or of sorrow, or for her to go West Much Diminished, and she did neither, she's just left crying over the corpse. (And way to be a bro, Legolas. GEEZ. Gimli's not gonna put up with that shit, fyi.) Boo. I also feel that not giving us funerals for the boys or Thorin takes away a fair bit of emotional conclusion and oomph. That said, when Bilbo tells the other dwarves to just stop by Bag-End whenever, tea's at 4, don't knock....MY HEART.

Bilbo's return to Bag-End to find Hobbiton auctioning off his belongings because he's presumed dead and his house is an empty mess felt like The Scouring of the Shire we never got. Bilbo presents his contract as proof of identity and wobbles on Thorin's name. Aw. AW. Do you get it? He is such a widower now. He straightens things up a little, takes a deep breath, and then he's old Bilbo and Gandalf is at the door. AW. AWWWW. Way to make the emotional connection and time passing so clearly tied up with Thorin. Man.

Anyway, there's some obligatory video game effects and whatnot, and a lot of things feel rushed--like, everything about Bard and the too-brief re-introduction of Beorn (who is literally just dropped by one of the Eagles to kick ass), and the appearance of all the armies. All of the dudez I was with complained about everything to the point where I'm not even certain why they came. Looking forward to going again with women folks next week.


ETA: Signalboosting The World Hobbit Project, a massive fan study about response to PJ's films. Please take 10-20 minutes to help academics really get what makes fans tick!


( 9 comments — Add your .02 )
Dec. 18th, 2014 03:10 am (UTC)
I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THIS. That is all. :D ♥
Dec. 18th, 2014 08:16 am (UTC)
The fact that I have to wait until Saturday to see this is really breaking my heart. Also, all of the complaining about The Hobbit series seems...way too exaggerated. Is it as magical as the original trilogy? No, but the first two movies are quite entertaining in their own right (I admit I was bored to tears on my first viewing of An Unexpected Journey) and I feel like people are now just complaining to complain. Alas, thanks for the review; can't wait to see it. I hope I don't ugly cry at end.
Dec. 18th, 2014 04:56 pm (UTC)

Part of the complaining seems to be a "cool" thing? And a few people talk about how much they loved the book as a kid, and it's not that book. Which, of course it's not, it's a movie.

I dunno, I think I'm possibly like Peter Jackson, I just want to go and live in Middle Earth. "An Unexpected Journey" felt like going home to me, so I had no problem with any of its excesses.
Dec. 22nd, 2014 06:21 am (UTC)
I saved this till after I read the movie. EEE YES FEELINGS.

Anyway, I was fully expecting for Tauriel to either die in battle or of sorrow, or for her to go West Much Diminished, and she did neither, she's just left crying over the corpse.

Yeah, wtf was that. :(

By and large tho, I loved it.
(Deleted comment)
Dec. 27th, 2014 12:43 am (UTC)
I knew you'd be someone who would know!!!!
Jan. 20th, 2015 02:14 am (UTC)
It is sad that Peter Jackson has moved so far away from Tolkein in this film in particular, and has embraced animation and loud bangs and crashes so wholeheartedly over dialogue and the sense of foreboding that exists in the first films in both series.
Apr. 8th, 2015 12:16 pm (UTC)
I hoped The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies would be the best of the bunch. Imagine my disappointment to find out it was the opposite.
Apr. 8th, 2015 04:49 pm (UTC)
Imagine my confusion that you're commenting negatively on a film that I enjoyed.
( 9 comments — Add your .02 )

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