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Parodying everything ever

Okay, so real life is absolutely insane, and for the first time in my life I've been having actual panic attacks/chest pains. So today I went to the health center on campus because it's a five minute walk from my job, and it was kind of a parody of the American health system.

So first I go in, explain my problem and what I think about it. "I think I'm having panic attacks because of this ridiculously high profile projact at work that everyone insists is make or break for the department." And the doc was all,"Well, we don't like to prescribe medications for stress and anxiety, there's just nothing you can do to fix that. That's a life skill." Then she said, "So let's start you off with some Xanax."

And I was all "...'kay?"

So they did some bloodwork to check other things too, which they'll call me about next week, and then I went to the pharmacy. Then they called me to a booth and a guy was all "Let's talk. I've been where you are now, it weighs down on you. You have to remember this is a tool, not a solution. you have to find what other tools will help you. I liked to have my wife read the Bible to me."

And I was all "...'kay?"

Then he said, "Don't take this with grapejuice or alcohol. The cashier is across the hall. Bye."

On the plus side, this was WAY better than in days of yore when I was an undergraduate at UGA and if you went to the health center they always wanted you to take a pregnancy test. Flu symptoms? Pee in a cup. Dogbite? Pee in a cup. Twisted ankle? Pee in a cup.

I'm wondering if this reflects on changing attitutes in university health services, or only that people presume Georgia girls sleep around more than Texas girls.


( 8 comments — Add your .02 )
Nov. 2nd, 2012 10:13 pm (UTC)
I'd ask if you were kidding, except I've been thru the same thing with college Heath centres. Gett better soon bb
Nov. 2nd, 2012 10:15 pm (UTC)
Thanks, bb!! <333
Nov. 2nd, 2012 10:47 pm (UTC)
This left me deeply disturbed on many levels.

Take care darlin'.
Nov. 2nd, 2012 10:50 pm (UTC)

Oh, I'm also supposed to have a dose this weekend to see how drowsy they make me so I can take one "to take the edge off" work and still be operational.

NGL, I'm hoping a bit this might guilt-trip my boss/admin etc. "We're driving our employees to drugs!!!" It probably won't, but hey.
Nov. 2nd, 2012 10:52 pm (UTC)
... Remind me not to say anything bad about the campus doctors here :')

Hope you feel better soon hun :)))
Nov. 2nd, 2012 11:11 pm (UTC)
Meep, honey. *hugs you*
Nov. 3rd, 2012 12:45 am (UTC)
I hope you feel better soon! Maybe the xanax will help??? I don't know how I feel about those kind of pills, though. Did you have a specific opinion about them before this experience?
Nov. 3rd, 2012 01:35 am (UTC)
:( Feel better soon, sweetie! *squishes you*
( 8 comments — Add your .02 )

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