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Part One
Part Two

Coulson enters Fury’s office at a fast clip, coming to stand in front of his desk. Fury is frowning at a folder and doesn’t look up. “I came as soon as you called, sir.”

“Sit down, Coulson.”

Coulson does. “Might I ask why you haven’t informed Captain Rogers yet? If the report is true—”

“Oh, it’s true, alright.” Fury closes the folder and pushes it across the desk to him. “It’s all in there. In black and white and in living color: photos across six decades, and our top analysts confirm it—they’re all the same man.”

Coulson opens it up, holding one of the pictures up closely. “This last one was taken—”

“Four hours ago. Security feed from Union Station. He’s downstairs right now.” Fury leans across the desk, fingers steepled together. “You ever see an urban legend come to life? It’s a helluva thing. Problem is, he doesn’t remember a damn thing about what he’s done in all this time.”

“Amnesia?” Coulson frowns. “Part of his programming?”

“God knows what that man’s been through. If he’s really out of there, after having been the go-to assassin for the Eastern powers this long? That’ll be complicated all on its own. But if he’s some kind of sleeper agent, sent in to take down Cap?” Fury looks even more grim than usual. “He’s Rogers’s greatest weakness—always was.”

“But Stark—”

“Stark’s devotion to Rogers, heartwarming though it is, doesn’t exactly counterbalance his history as a loose cannon.” Fury fixes him with that single eye, and Coulson feels cold inside. “If there’s a hard call to be made, I need to know that there will be someone there to carry it out. The Avengers are heroes, Coulson, and the problem with heroes is that they tend to get other people dead. We’re in the business of preventing that. Understand?”

Coulson nods. He doesn’t want to, but he does. “Yes, sir.”

“Good.” Fury turns the folder around and picks up the top photo: old, browned at the edges, showing two figures beaming into the camera with their arms around each other. “If Bucky Barnes becomes a problem, you have my permission to eliminate him—with extreme prejudice.”

Comments

( 73 comments — Add your .02 )
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hana_ginkawa
Jan. 28th, 2012 06:20 am (UTC)
This is very, I hesitate to say cute, even though it is. The epilogue is ominous, but I enjoyed this fic! Thanks for sharing it!
caitri
Jan. 28th, 2012 03:07 pm (UTC)
*G* Glad you liked it!!!
airwaveeight
Jan. 28th, 2012 06:47 am (UTC)
Hnnng. LOVED the fic, and if this is hinting at ANOTHER fic which may or may not end up with a threesome of epicness THEN YOU ARE MY NEW IDOL.

/waits patiently
caitri
Jan. 28th, 2012 03:06 pm (UTC)
*G*

Yes, it is a fic hint. I have no idea when the other will be finished, but there is another.
able_day
Jan. 28th, 2012 07:41 am (UTC)
OMGOMGOMG Unicorns! Steve! Tony's maturity!
I loved this fic! And the darker tone of the epilogue works quite well with the sugar sweetness of the previous scene.
caitri
Jan. 28th, 2012 03:08 pm (UTC)
*phew* I worried about that a bit, so I'm glad it worked! And yeah, Tony's "maturity." *G* Glad you liked it!!
torra
Jan. 28th, 2012 09:07 am (UTC)
Wow, I haven't giggled that much in a fic in weeks! LOVE! So much love! Please tell me you're writing the next one? Because that end teaser is awesome and ominous and I'm a sucker for that kinda setup where the OTP has to weather a test.

In short, YAY YOU! \o/
caitri
Jan. 28th, 2012 03:09 pm (UTC)
*G* Glad you liked it! I have some parts of the next one but no idea when it will be done/posted. *crosses fingers*
scintillulae
Jan. 28th, 2012 10:22 am (UTC)
jsdfjdgsfg that was glorious. ♥ and I sincerely hope a sequel is in the works because it totally needs to be.
caitri
Jan. 28th, 2012 03:09 pm (UTC)
*G*G*G* Glad you liked it!!! And yeah, there's more to come. Not sure when, but...
petrichor_fizz
Jan. 28th, 2012 11:34 am (UTC)
I love everything about this. I don't even know what else to say, just, yes.
caitri
Jan. 28th, 2012 03:09 pm (UTC)
*G*G*G* Glad you liked it!!!
wihluta
Jan. 28th, 2012 11:39 am (UTC)
Niiiiiiiiiiice one. Had me laughing a lot. THOR! should always speak in allcaps. It should be a rule! ;)
caitri
Jan. 28th, 2012 03:10 pm (UTC)
THOR MUST SPEAK IN ALLCAPS AS LJ DOES NOT SUPPORT DARK LETTER GOTHIC!

Er, I mean, he must in crack. *G* Glad you liked it!!
(no subject) - wihluta - Jan. 29th, 2012 05:51 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - caitri - Jan. 29th, 2012 06:11 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - wihluta - Feb. 3rd, 2012 06:03 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - caitri - Feb. 3rd, 2012 02:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - wihluta - Feb. 3rd, 2012 02:34 pm (UTC) - Expand
kaitou1412
Jan. 28th, 2012 01:19 pm (UTC)
This was the fic that I knew I needed as soon as I finished watching the Cap movie and realized he never got to go 'dancing.' I just thought, Avengers must fight unicorns. And now they have.

Thank you.
caitri
Jan. 28th, 2012 03:10 pm (UTC)
*G*G*G* Glad you liked it!!
aadarshinah
Jan. 28th, 2012 01:47 pm (UTC)
this was amazing. Just the right amount of cracky, and all over perfect. my only complaint is that, for RL reasons, I had to wait so long to finish it.
Please tell me there's a sequel on the way.
caitri
Jan. 28th, 2012 03:11 pm (UTC)
There's a sequel on the way. No really, there is! (God knows when it'll be finished, but...)

Glad you liked it!! <3
amine_eyes
Jan. 28th, 2012 01:47 pm (UTC)
FICCCCCCCCCCCCC. FROM YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

I approve most-heartedly :DDDDDD

I love how it all came together AND UNICORNS YESSSSSS AND ROBOTS OH MY :D
caitri
Jan. 28th, 2012 03:11 pm (UTC)
*G*G*G* *SQUISH*

My fav part is the Nickbot is actually CANON.
sirona_gs
Jan. 28th, 2012 01:58 pm (UTC)
That. Was amazing. Okay, that was fan-bloody-tastic. I can't even tell you how much I enjoyed this. Tony was spot-on, Clint made me want to tackleglomp him, Steve was lovely, everyone was perfectly in character. I LOVED THE THOR VOICE BEYOND ALL REASON, ALSO. :DDD Absolutely hilarious, and still very heartwarming. I am going to be jonesing for a sequel, I tell you now! :D LOVED IT. <3333333
caitri
Jan. 28th, 2012 03:12 pm (UTC)
*G*G*G*G* Glad you liked it!!!! The sequel is a WIP so I have no idea when it'll be done, but it's there, fwiw. <3
seren_ccd
Jan. 28th, 2012 04:00 pm (UTC)
This was fabulous! All of it. Funny, sweet, clever and I loved every single word of it.
caitri
Jan. 28th, 2012 07:47 pm (UTC)
*G* Glad you liked it!!
mirareeves
Jan. 28th, 2012 05:38 pm (UTC)
Aha! This was so much fun. Unicorn made them do it!
caitri
Jan. 28th, 2012 07:48 pm (UTC)
They didn't make so much as....okay, yeah, they did. Silly unicorns!
burntcopper
Jan. 28th, 2012 06:11 pm (UTC)
the fact that I had to step away from the computer to giggle stupidly during part 2 says it all. :applauds:
caitri
Jan. 28th, 2012 07:48 pm (UTC)
*G* Glad you liked it!
pinigir
Jan. 28th, 2012 07:56 pm (UTC)
Loved it! :-)
caitri
Jan. 28th, 2012 10:10 pm (UTC)
Thanks!!!
sail_aweigh
Jan. 28th, 2012 08:56 pm (UTC)
Okay, I loved this whole fic, but I find myself mostly charmed by Bruce's love of cooking shows. Hee. This was splendid! And I am eagerly looking forward to the sequel. :D
caitri
Jan. 29th, 2012 06:06 am (UTC)
*G*G* Glad you liked it, bb! <3
blue_jack
Jan. 28th, 2012 09:54 pm (UTC)
Buckyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

This was so much fun, bb! I had a blast reading it. :D
caitri
Jan. 29th, 2012 06:06 am (UTC)
<33333333333333
chaoticallyclev
Jan. 28th, 2012 09:54 pm (UTC)
ALKSJDLADJHL;. Okay, I was sitting here all HNNNG and SO ADORABLE, and then Bucky. Buckyyyyyy. And now I feel like in inches away from being Thor and losing all concept of an inside voice because all of the feelings. Anyway, super awesome, I loved it to pieces, now, BUCKY? *bats eyes*
caitri
Jan. 29th, 2012 06:07 am (UTC)
<3 *G* It's a WIP, and will likely be epic. So, uh, just try to be patient?
shadings
Jan. 28th, 2012 09:59 pm (UTC)
OH MY GOD THAT WAS THE BEST THING EVER. Darcy is made of awesome.

being on the receiving end of all of Steve Rogers’s attention is like looking into the sun, warm and this side of pain, and he swears dots fly over his vision sometimes when he does that. This was such a lovely and striking simile. ♥

And my favourite part, because omg they are so wonderful together:

“Always,” Tony says, and, as usual, the words I love you. are hidden in that simple word somewhere.

“Me too,” and Steve grins at him, and it might as well be I know.


Seriously, that was such a fun ride, and all the characters were amazingly written, and unicorns and euphemisms and pop tart wars WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT. :D :D
caitri
Jan. 28th, 2012 10:10 pm (UTC)
*G*G* I'm so glad you liked it! <3
henriettaholden
Jan. 28th, 2012 10:48 pm (UTC)
I love that a story that begins with unicorn ends with ominous Bucky Barnes. This was wonderful and hilarious.
caitri
Jan. 29th, 2012 06:05 am (UTC)
*G* Glad you liked it! (And what can I say, Joss Whedon is my master?)
emiliglia
Jan. 29th, 2012 12:32 am (UTC)
I'm sick today, and this was really just what I needed. And I think you need to imbed a "buh buh BUUUUUUUH" at the end of this part.
caitri
Jan. 29th, 2012 06:07 am (UTC)
*G* I think just a sharp silence and a fade to black. *G*
gollumgollum
Jan. 29th, 2012 01:22 am (UTC)
IT'S LIKE CHRISTMAS! Clint/Darcy, Steve/Tony with impending Bucky, ~feelings, THOR'S INSIDE VOICE, Bruce's Food Network addiction. I love everything about this.
caitri
Jan. 29th, 2012 06:08 am (UTC)
*G*G*G* Glad you liked it!!!!!
ageofalejandro
Jan. 29th, 2012 02:10 am (UTC)
Duuuude! Excellent, all of it. :D And is the short at the end of the credits here maybe a hint of a larger story in the future? *desperately hopes so*
caitri
Jan. 29th, 2012 06:09 am (UTC)
Yep, it's a WIP and I have no idea when it will be done, but it's there. *G* Glad you liked this one!!
joirerson
Jan. 29th, 2012 02:38 am (UTC)
This was delightful! The epilogue made me go dun dun DUNN. I am waiting with my chin on my hands!
caitri
Jan. 29th, 2012 06:10 am (UTC)
*G*G*G*

I'm working on it, bb. (Also, the further printerverse stories, which now include an Avengers extension. >_>)
(no subject) - joirerson - Jan. 29th, 2012 06:45 pm (UTC) - Expand
fictivore
Jan. 29th, 2012 07:50 am (UTC)
Ooh is this a sequel hook I sense? IS IT? I foresee some angst for both the boys. Yes please! :D?

I loved the 'conflict', the unicorns! Darcy was really sweet and great. And ofcourse Tony and Steve's epic romance. :D I loved the slow build-up of realizations and the intense love they very evidently had for each other. And the Tony voice was really great. Hope you write more soon, I look forward to it a lot! <3

Edited at 2012-01-29 07:51 am (UTC)
caitri
Jan. 29th, 2012 06:39 pm (UTC)
*G* Glad you liked it! I'm working on a sequel but I have no idea when it'll be done. Stay tuned! :)
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