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Fic: Riding in Cars With Boys, PG, Joanna

Title: Riding in Cars With Boys
Author: caitri
Rating: PG (Language)
Pairings: Kirk/McCoy (background)
Word Count: 1,321
Summary: Joanna's life used to be easier before she had two Step-Dads. For the FML challenge at jim_and_bones.
Disclaimer: I know this may come as a shock, but I am not, amazing as it may seem, Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount or Bad Robot. Just so you know.





The first time I brought a boy home, Mom smiled pleasantly, Clay nodded at him over his PADD, and I took him out to the back where my old playhouse was and we made out for two hours. Afterwards he sat by me at dinner and if I seemed flushed no one remarked on it.

The second time I brought a boy home, I was supposed to be grounded, but there’s this tree right by my window, and, well, I’m not on the track team and the basketball team for nothing.

Then Dad got home from his tour.

Don’t get me wrong, I was thrilled, I love Dad and I hadn’t seen him in five years. But when your Dad is the CMO of the USS Enterprise, indirectly responsible for saving the freaking planet at least once, and is in all the newsfeeds because he just married Captain Kirk? Things get awkward.

I was counting on the newlywed bliss to cut me some slack.

I was so wrong.

“Hey, JoJo,” Dad says when he came in that first night. “How’s my best girl?”

I hug him tight; he smells like aftershave and fresh grass.

“Awesome,” I say. He lets me go, and then there was Uncle Jim.

“Hey kiddo,” Jim says, his hug more brief. “It’s been a long time. I remember when you were this high.” He gestures to a height below his waist, and I flush.

“Yeah, well, adolescence. It happens,” I say.

“She’s already got boys coming over,” Mom says, and I flush darker still.

“Oh really?” Dad says with interest. “Do I need to go find Pa’s shotgun?”

Uncle Jim just laughed with the others, and I thought I was safe.

Five hours later, I’m climbing down the tree, light and easy as a cat, and congratulating myself on my stealth when a familiar voice says, “Really kiddo?” and I freeze.

“Hiya, Uncle Jim,” I say all cool, like this happens all the time. “How’s it going?”

“It goes,” he says pleasantly. “Do you have a good story at least?”

“Maybe?” I hedge for time. “Crap. Um.”

“Yeah, thought so,” he says. “One of your boys?”

My face feels like it’s burning. “Mark,” I say. “He’s going to be an engineer. We have a—uh—tutoring session.”

“Right,” Uncle Jim says, drawing the word out real long. “Tutoring session. At eleven at night.”

“It’s for astronomy?”

“Uh huh. Back up you go, kiddo. Unless you wanna go through the front door and explain this to Bones yourself.”

That makes me feel like throwing up.

I climb the tree.

Two nights later I think I’m safe because they’re not even supposed to be at our house—they’re across town visiting Grandma instead. And I have plans to meet Daniel, and well, how often does lightning strike twice?

“Seriously?” Uncle Jim just sounds amused. “It’s even down to the minute, kiddo. You have it like a science.”

“Apparently not,” I mutter.

“Is it this Mark kid?”

“Daniel,” I say.

Uncle Jim whistles. “You make me proud. Really. Okay, like clockwork, right? Back to bed.”

I don’t waste time arguing this time. Instead I plot.

Thursday night I arrange a sleepover with Michaela Cooper. Sleepover in the sense that I pack my pajamas and a pillow and some romcom vids, we watch one of them, and then start the second one to playing while we change into our cute clothes and wait for the signal from Aaron Matheson and Kamraan Mudil.

The boys are leading us to their car when there’s that damn voice.

“Jo?”

“Fuck!” I yell.

The others freeze in panic. “Do you have, like, a stalker or something?” Kamraan wants to know.

“Yes,” I say mutinously.

Michaela’s eyes are wide even in the dark. “Wow,” she says in admiration. “Epic.”

“C’mon, kiddo. You know the drill.”

“Aggh!” I stomp my foot, but shake my head. “See you guys later,” I mutter, before walking right up to Uncle Jim. “Dude, what is your malfunction?”

He looks confused at that. “I’m your Step-Dad now,” he says. “I’m supposed to protect you.”

“From a good time?” I glower mutinously.

“From doing stupid things.” He shrugs nonchalantly. “Seriously, kiddo, you’re what, thirteen? You’re too young for this shit.”

“I’ll be fourteen in a month,” I say stubbornly. “My grades are good, and I know how to use protection.”

“I like how you think that was meant to be comforting,” Uncle Jim says dryly, “but believe me when I say it isn’t.”

I grunt, and let him lead me to his car. I’m expecting him to drive me back to Mom’s place, but instead he takes me to the 24-hour diner off the highway. When we walk in I see some of the seniors in a booth, and they look at us in astonishment. I’d enjoy their attention more if the guy I was with wasn’t, you know, my Step-Dad, but whatever.

We sit in another booth and Uncle Jim orders two chocolate milkshakes and an order of fries.

“This is totally contraband, by the way,” he says happily when the shakes come.

“Uh huh,” I say, unimpressed. I play with the paper the straw came in, folding it into shapes idly.

“Look, I get what it’s like having a parent who’s never around,” Jim says when we’ve both got some chocolate in our systems. “And hormones and peer pressure and all that. Seriously, I do, but this isn’t the answer. What’s gonna happen one night when I’m not there and you meet the wrong guy or something?”

“I can take care of myself,” I say. “You’ve seen too many vids.”

Uncle Jim snorts. “Bullshit,” he says. “I used to be thirteen going on fourteen too, kiddo. I’ve been in and out of more trouble than you know. That’s why I’m trying to talk to you.”

I roll my eyes. The waitress brings us the plate of fries, and I take two, dipping them in ketchup. They are hot and crispy and salty: perfect after the chocolate. “Is it worth pointing out that you turned out okay?” I ask.

“Not really,” Uncle Jim says with all that smooth arrogance you see on the newsfeeds. “I’m special.” I look up to say something snarky and obnoxious, but then I look in his eyes, and—well, I don’t know what’s in them. Memories, I guess. It’s not an easy look.

“Fine,” I say. And we change subjects and talk about school and stuff, and he cracks jokes, and I laugh.

He drives me back to Michaela’s and I get in without a problem. I change back into my pajamas, and go to sleep. When I wake up, Michaela is curled up beside me, the two of us like puppies, and then her Mom comes to get us up for school.

“So what’s up with stalker-guy?” she asks once we’re out of the house. “Who was that?”

For some reason I don’t want to say it’s my Step-Dad, so instead I just say, “Some guy I know. He’s not that bad, though.”

“Huh,” Michaela says. “Cool.”

I’m thinking after that chat and all that maybe we’ve gotten some kind of peace accord going on, but when Monday night rolls around and I’m sneaking down the tree to go see Mark, Uncle Jim is already there.

“I thought we’d learned something, kiddo,” he says.

“Fuck my life,” I mutter, and start climbing back up.

Screw it. The boys aren’t worth the trouble.

“I hope you realize that I’m gonna die a virgin,” I call back, pitching my tone low so that it carries to him, but so that Mom and Clay won’t hear.

“Doubt it,” Uncle Jim calls back. “Just try to be legal, okay?”

“I’ll try,” I grumble, and his laughter is warm in the night.

Having two Step-Dads is a pain in the ass, but I suppose there’s worse things.

Comments

( 46 comments — Add your .02 )
Page 1 of 2
<<[1] [2] >>
soldierly
Feb. 27th, 2011 07:41 am (UTC)
HEEEE. This was so many shades of adorable. I love Jim so much, and you had Jo's POV down pat. Awesome job!
caitri
Feb. 27th, 2011 04:22 pm (UTC)
*G* Glad you liked it!!
(Deleted comment)
caitri
Feb. 27th, 2011 04:22 pm (UTC)
*G* Thanks!
sally_daer
Feb. 27th, 2011 10:52 am (UTC)
Sweet :)
caitri
Feb. 27th, 2011 04:23 pm (UTC)
*G* Thanks!
aadarshinah
Feb. 27th, 2011 12:21 pm (UTC)
oh my god... I can totally see Jim doing this too. perfect as always.
caitri
Feb. 27th, 2011 04:23 pm (UTC)
He would--he invented half thsoe tricks, y'know?
(no subject) - aadarshinah - Feb. 27th, 2011 04:47 pm (UTC) - Expand
gadgetorious
Feb. 27th, 2011 03:16 pm (UTC)
I am SO glad you can't say no to me. This is so effing cute. Apparently, you are Jo. Because she pretty much sounds just like you, and it really works. I don't know if this means that she's mature for her age or that you're a thirteen-year-old at heart, but I'm not going to question it. ;)
caitri
Feb. 27th, 2011 04:24 pm (UTC)
This scares me dude. <33
amine_eyes
Feb. 27th, 2011 03:40 pm (UTC)
Oh JO :D I love how she's just all "Why is he ruining my life!!!!" and realises that it could be a lot worse :D

And Jim knows all the tricks xD
caitri
Feb. 27th, 2011 04:24 pm (UTC)
Well yeah, he invented half of them!! ;)
vivid_moment
Feb. 27th, 2011 05:02 pm (UTC)
Utterly adorable. Great, great voices <3

caitri
Feb. 27th, 2011 05:07 pm (UTC)
*G*G* Glad you liked it!
savoytruffle
Feb. 27th, 2011 05:08 pm (UTC)
Aw, that was very cute. I love Jim as the friendly enforcer who knows why it matters.
caitri
Feb. 27th, 2011 05:43 pm (UTC)
*G* Glad you liked it!
zauzat
Feb. 27th, 2011 05:36 pm (UTC)
Absolutely adorable and very funny, full of great lines.

“I’ll be fourteen in a month,” I say stubbornly. “My grades are good, and I know how to use protection.”

“I like how you think that was meant to be comforting,” Uncle Jim says dryly, “but believe me when I say it isn’t.”
LOL!!!
caitri
Feb. 27th, 2011 05:44 pm (UTC)
*G*G*G* Glad you liked it!
d_odyssey
Feb. 27th, 2011 06:05 pm (UTC)
Poor Jo, she doesn't have a chance! Jim is the master and king of sneaking about and being a teenager. Very cute!
caitri
Feb. 27th, 2011 06:09 pm (UTC)
*G* Glad you liked it!
shadowclub
Feb. 27th, 2011 06:09 pm (UTC)
I love how great Jim is here at being a parental figure and having a sixth sense about when Joanna is trying to sneak about.

caitri
Feb. 27th, 2011 07:07 pm (UTC)
lol, yeah, he knows all the tricks!!
fritz42
Feb. 27th, 2011 07:00 pm (UTC)
Jim's a great step-dad. Not only does he just know what is going on in Joanna's mind, he knows what she is really up against, having been a teenage boy. I love how he just doesn't give up, being right there every time she tries to sneak away.

I love how that strong instinct to protect his crew is now turned on Joanna. Loved this line: He looks confused at that. “I’m your Step-Dad now,” he says. “I’m supposed to protect you.”

But, as others have said, this one was my favorite line: “I like how you think that was meant to be comforting,” Uncle Jim says dryly, “but believe me when I say it isn’t.”

Jim's gotta be the coolest step-dad ever. Not only does he not turn Joanna into Bones, but his parting request that Joanna be at least legal was great.

You had me laughing the whole time I read this!

"T"
caitri
Feb. 27th, 2011 07:17 pm (UTC)
<3 Appropriate icon is appropriate!! ;)

And yeah, he knows all the tricks and is trying his best. Awesome step-dad ftw!!
blue_jack
Feb. 27th, 2011 08:35 pm (UTC)
I'm all D8 at her being thirteen. D8

Why do they grow up so fast? And knowledgeable? Why? Why?
caitri
Feb. 27th, 2011 10:53 pm (UTC)
They just DO.

Btw I should have kushiel!fic for you to beta this week...
sayfray
Feb. 27th, 2011 09:45 pm (UTC)
I love this! Joanna is so real, and I love Jim's gentle way with her.
caitri
Feb. 27th, 2011 10:53 pm (UTC)
<3 Glad you liked it!!!
adafrog
Feb. 27th, 2011 11:34 pm (UTC)
Awesome.
caitri
Feb. 27th, 2011 11:59 pm (UTC)
*G* Thanks!
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( 46 comments — Add your .02 )

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