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One Thing Off My List

Just submitted my book chapter to my editor. Ha! So one thing down! Last class of the semester is coming in in a couple hours, too.

~

Thought ya'll might get a kick out of this email exchange from this morning:

re: the desire for crackfic is strong in this one

Was thinking of this at bedtime and this morning.

Common Grounds ficlet. Richard Castle is in San Francisco for a book signing and Bones is all excited about it. He and Jim are at the bookstore waiting in line when some guy in line starts wobbling around dizzily and then collapses. Bones runs to him all "I'm a doctor!" Jim follows. They get to the guy who has been stabbed. Jim is all, "He was murdered?!" Castle is all "OMG there was a murder at my booksigning! BECKETT!!!!!!!!" But she's in New York and he calls her constantly and she's like "CASTLE! You're in a different state, it's out of our jurisdiction!"

The boys plus Castle are interviewed by the cops. That's when William Cooper shows up. He walks up to the three of them and they are all O_O. Castle is all "Are you guys thinking what I'm thinking?" Jim is all "I was a very good boy and Santa loves me?" Castle is all "...Well I was thinking long lost twins but I can see your point." Bones is all, " Good grief, I have TWO idiots to deal with and a doppelganger." To Cooper he says, "So this is weird." Cooper is all, "Yeah. Not the weirdest thing I've ever dealt with. BELIEVE me."

Cooper is there because the murdered guy works for a drug dealer/arms merchant/something else scary named Khan. He's been on the case for a few months tracking leads, which is why he's in SF.

At some point the boys are attacked but Bones and Jim fight them off. Bones is all, "Where did you learn to fight like that?" Jim says he grew up bi in Iowa, he kinda came with the territory, more importantly, where did BONES learn to fight? Bones is all, "Dammit, Jim, I'm from GEORGIA!" Jim is all, "Baby, you have never been hotter." Cooper shows up then and is just all "Okaaaay then."

In the meantime Castle has managed to wheedle his friend the NYC mayor to call the SF mayor to have Beckett called in. He's all "Think of it as vacation!" She's all "MY vacations do not involve mysterious bodies and arms dealers and CIA agents!" He's all "Okay, point, but it's a change of scene!"

Yeah. I don't know if this fic will happen, but it amuses me.


gadgetorious: Your brain is like the surface of an alien planet. Beautiful and fascinating but if I lived there I would die.

I think many people would be in agreement with her on this one.

Comments

( 25 comments — Add your .02 )
tocourtdisaster
Dec. 7th, 2010 08:14 pm (UTC)
Oh, Cait, that's absolutely wonderful and insane and I totally agree with gadgetorious. ;)
caitri
Dec. 7th, 2010 09:01 pm (UTC)
LOL!!
suddenlyswept
Dec. 7th, 2010 08:21 pm (UTC)
i am still laughing my ass off. both at your plot bunny (?) and at Gadge's response :D
caitri
Dec. 7th, 2010 09:01 pm (UTC)
I AM A SPECIAL AND UNIQUE SNOWFLAKE AND THIS IS WHY YOU LOVE ME.

Darnit.
amine_eyes
Dec. 7th, 2010 08:23 pm (UTC)
Oh this is brilliant xD

If it makes you feel better, my brother drew a picture of his brain for school once. He drew it as a workhouse for imagin-bugs and elves, and in onecorner, they had taken over the office of reason and set it on fire. The worst thing? The teacher agreed with it xD
caitri
Dec. 7th, 2010 09:02 pm (UTC)
LOL! :)
joirerson
Dec. 7th, 2010 08:50 pm (UTC)
*giggles out loud*

Everything about this was made of WIN. I can imagine Nathan Fillion doing exactly that, omg yes.

OMG THE MAYORS ARE PLOTTING TO BRING OUR OTPS TOGETHER. Sneaky mayors. I love the mayor as the McGuffin in Castle- oh, why is he here? Oh, the mayor, right.
caitri
Dec. 7th, 2010 09:00 pm (UTC)
And now I can't help but think, can I somehow work in a reference to the mayor of Sunnydale? And Castle would be all O_O "Buffy's coming?!!!!" and Cooper would say, "Sunnydale, it's a suburb of LA" (with the narrowed eyes of Your, sir, are an idiot) and Castle would be disappointed. Beckett would be all, "Ha! I like you, Cooper." And Cooper would give her a little not-smile and nod and walk away. And Castle would say to Beckett, "OMG you LIKE him!" And she'd be all "LIKE HIM? What are we, fifth graders? (pause) Also, did you see him? Anyone with a pulse would like that!" And Castle would be all, "Oh. That explains what that funny feeling was." She'd be all :O and he'd be all :D
joirerson
Dec. 7th, 2010 09:05 pm (UTC)
I'm convinced Castle is secretly not so much bi as just... anything goes, really. As long as they're nice to Alexis.

COOPER/BECKETT IS MY NEW OTP YOU DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND THEIR LOOOOOOOVE!!!

Like the mayor has any pull with Buffy, anyway. ;)
caitri
Dec. 7th, 2010 09:10 pm (UTC)
Oh geez. And poor Alexis in a room with her dad Cooper, Bones, and Jim. She'd pop her head in, gawk, and run away. "What's the matter sweetie?" "DAD YOU SAID PEOPLE WERE COMING OVER. NOT THREE OF THE HOTTEST MEN I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. OH GOD." Castle would be all "...You think they're hot!" in that teeny Dad voice of his. Alexis would glare daggers.

And OMG I now want Cooper/Beckett like burning. It would drive Castle INSANE.
joirerson
Dec. 7th, 2010 09:17 pm (UTC)
He'd be all concerned dad because, they're much older than you, honey! And that man has a really big gun. (He'd feel ok about Jim and Bones, because, hey, obviously taken and gay men are obviously taken and gay.)

And then Cooper and Beckett would hit it off and he'd just not have anything to counter the relationship with because Cooper isn't older than Beckett, and the gun thing wouldn't intimidate her.

OMG A DISCUSSION ABOUT SIZE OF GUNS PLEASE OK THANKS. Maybe even a joke about a gun show I'm not proud
caitri
Dec. 7th, 2010 09:24 pm (UTC)
Ha, and that's exactly how he'd explain it to her. "They're obviously taken, sweetie. And gay!" And she'd be all "Dad. I KNOW I'm not going to date them but I can still LOOK."

And he'd desperately be trying to explain to Beckett why Cooper would be a bad idea. "He's in the CIA! That's like, really dangerous and stuff!" "Right, Castle, because what we do is such a picnic." "...You don't even know if William Cooper is his real name!" "I hope it's not, it's safer that way." "...DID YOU SEE THE SIZE OF HIS GUN?!" "No, but I sure hope to..." Castle would be all O_O "Mental images...never...going..away. Oh God." And Jim would pat him comfortingly on the back.
joirerson
Dec. 7th, 2010 09:31 pm (UTC)
"Remember that time my APARTMENT EXPLODED? Pretty sure you were there." "...That wasn't my fault!"

Yeah, their job is a very believable safe place to be.

Jim would just be so happy to be around two Karl!Urban!doppelgangers he'd just be like a puppy. OMG MARTHA AND ALEXIS WOULD BE GOSSIPING IN THE KITCHEN AND JIM WOULD COME IN AND JOIN IN, yes!
caitri
Dec. 7th, 2010 11:12 pm (UTC)
They would be speculating about COOPER. And they'd all be really into it for several minutes and then only belatedly would Martha and Alexis realize they are dorking out with Jim.

And then Bones would overhear a last bit and give them a glare and Jim would give him a shit-eating grin, and then say something that would make him chuckle in relief and do the little mouth-twitch, and Martha and Alexis would be all, "Awwww." and they'd leave the room. Alexis would be all, "I want one of those." And Martha would be all, "You and me both, dear."
betrayme
Dec. 7th, 2010 09:36 pm (UTC)
I hope Jim would get in a line or two about Bones v. Cooper's guns.

I just need to chime in that this is the BEST idea EVER.

Edited at 2010-12-07 09:38 pm (UTC)
caitri
Dec. 7th, 2010 11:14 pm (UTC)
"Dammit, Jim, would you stop calling it that!!!"

"Huh, Bones?"

"You know--the--it--you--"

"I was calling the gun a gun, Bones. (exasperated sigh). You have a filthy mind, you know that?" (long pause) (fiendish grin) "It's one of my favorite things about you!"
gadgetorious
Dec. 7th, 2010 11:36 pm (UTC)
Okay, take breath now.
gadgetorious
Dec. 7th, 2010 11:34 pm (UTC)
This actually made me laugh harder the second time. Possibly because I'm fully awake this time around.

All I have to say is: OMG, write this.
caitri
Dec. 7th, 2010 11:50 pm (UTC)
I know. It's in the queue. :P
weepingnaiad
Dec. 8th, 2010 12:58 am (UTC)
Well, even if you don't manage to write it, it was great fun to read!
caitri
Dec. 8th, 2010 01:17 am (UTC)
I think it has to happen now. I now ship Beckett/Cooper. WTF self?!
littlemissgriff
Dec. 8th, 2010 03:30 am (UTC)
I saw the name 'Richard Castle' and about died with glee. It all went up-hill from there. It's nonsensically sensible, but I suppose that the definition of crack.
caitri
Dec. 8th, 2010 03:53 am (UTC)
Dude. Cooper/Beckett. That is all.
littlemissgriff
Dec. 8th, 2010 03:54 am (UTC)
*goofy grin*

*swoons a little*

Have I mentioned you're a bit of a genius?
caitri
Dec. 8th, 2010 04:12 am (UTC)
Remind me when I'm done writing. :P :)
( 25 comments — Add your .02 )

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