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Title: True Love’s First Kiss
Author: caitri
Rating: PG (language)
Pairings: Kirk/McCoy, Spock/Uhura
Word Count: 8,743
Summary: Modern day AU. Leonard McCoy doesn’t believe in true love. Jim Kirk has been waiting for it his whole life. A STXI/Enchanted mash-up.
Disclaimer: I know this may come as a shock, but I am not, amazing as it may seem, Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount or Bad Robot. Just so you know.
Acknowledgements: Thanks to dramapunk for San Francisco geography help and to suddenlyswept for betaing!



Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a woodsman named Jim, who dreamed of…

True Love's First Kiss

"I saw this in a window on my way to pick you up," Leonard tells Jo. His daughter is six, but she looks bigger in her Tae Kwan Do outfit, he thinks proudly. "I thought you'd like it."

Joanna looks at the book dubiously: Important Women of Our Time, the cover proclaims helpfully. Jo chews on her bottom lip. It's her thinking face.

"You don't like it." Leonard works to keep his voice even, to not let his disappointment show.

"No, no," Jo says hastily. "It's okay--"

"But it's great, though, see?" Leonard puts his arm around her shoulders, flipping through pages helpfully. "See, it's got all these great and important people in here, women who did awesome things. Look, there's Sandra Day O'Connor--she was a famous lawyer and a Justice--"

"Mom's a famous lawyer and she left us," Jo says.

Leonard winces. "It wasn't because she was a lawyer." He feels exhausted, then, sinking into the faux-leather seat of the cab. "It's just--it's complicated, sweetie."

Jo sighs. "I know." She pauses. "I'd really like a book of fairy tales. Miss Gretchen read us the one about Sleeping Beauty--"

"No, no, look, Sleeping Beauty kept waiting for her one true love and then spent her life cleaning house after a bunch of stinky dwarves--"

"That's Snow White, Dad--"

"--and then she had to spin straw into gold because her husband was too lazy to get a real job--"

"That's Rapunzel, and that's not what happened--"

"--and then she turned into foam because she had no soul!" Jo looks mutinous when he's finished his tirade. "I just want you to have good role models, sweetie," he concludes far more lamely than he would like. "You should know you can be whatever you'd like--"

"Daddy!" Jo's looking past him, out the window, her expression one of astonishment and fear. "That man's about to fall!"

Leonard turns to look; they're at a red light, and to his horror, Jo has her seatbelt undone in a heartbeat and is running outside. "Honey, stop--" He's out of the car in a second, following her. They're by an old strip mall; this is where the Medieval Times restaurant used to be before it went under--apparently Merlin had an embezzlement scheme going on. The castle facade is worn and dingy, and a man in a bright blue, puffy-sleeved shirt and the tightest leather pants Leonard has ever seen is clinging to a parapet, yelling into the rain.

"Help him, Daddy!" Jo stares up; the man appears to be addressing the billboard that has a faded King Arthur on it.

"Please, your majesty, just a moment of your tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime--"

The plaster parapet collapses under the man's weight, and he's falling. Leonard scoots Jo out of the way, just in time for the strange man to fall on him instead.

"Oof!"

"Ow!"

"Oh my goodness--"

"Daddy?"

"My back--"

He's nose to nose with the stranger. Leonard looks up into the brightest blue eyes he's ever seen outside of a Disney cartoon. "Sorry," the man says sheepishly. "I appear to have had an accident. Are you quite alright?"

"My back," Leonard repeats. His voice comes out almost as a squeak, because it seems for a second that the stranger's body burns where it touches his, just for a second, and then he's off of him. "I'm too old for this," he mutters, and then the man is pulling him to his feet with ease. He notices the warmth of the hands, the callused fingertips, and then he's staring into those amazing eyes again.

"Are you a prince?" Jo asks the man uncertainly.

He looks like an escapee from a Renaissance Fair, Leonard thinks, with the puffy shirt and the leather pants. He also has a leather vest on, and tall leather boots. His hair is short and dark, and he may well be one of the most beautiful men that Leonard has ever seen.

The stranger makes a short bow to Jo. "Oh, no," he says, "I'm a woodsman. I'm going to marry a prince, though. His name is Spock. My name is Jim. What's yours?"

"Jo," Jo says, still staring. Her eyes are huge with astonishment and delight. "A real prince?"

"Oh yes," Jim assures her. "He has a white horse and a sword and everything. He saved me from a troll, you see," he tells Leonard helpfully. "You haven't seen him, by chance, have you? I fell down a wishing well and came out of a hole in a street and it's all been ever so strange--"

"Uh huh." Leonard half-listens as the man continues to babble, checking him for signs of concussion.

"You have very long hair," Jim tells Jo, who listens avidly to every word. "I've never seen hair that long before!"

"How many fingers am I holding up?" Leonard asks.

"My hair's perfectly normal!" Jo says, affronted.

"Two?" Jim answers Leonard's question uncertainly. "This isn't a trick question is it? I'm not good with riddles. And I never said your hair wasn't normal," he adds to Jo, "just that I'd never seen hair that long before. You're an odd little boy, you know that?"

Jo giggles at that. "I'm not a boy, I'm a girl!" she says.

"Really?!" Jim drops to a crouch so that he and Jo are at eye-level. Leonard glares into space for a second. Jim is grinning in wonder. "Oh my stars!" he says. "I've never seen a girl before!"

Jo is laughing, and Leonard sighs.

"Just great," he mutters. "High as a kite." He sighs, already calling the hospital; cases like this are Geoff's specialty. Thank God their cab is still waiting for them--

"You should come home with us!" Jo says.

Leonard whirls around, jaw dropping as Jim answers. His phone snaps shut as he stares, call terminated.

"Oh that would be ever so kind of you! I had quite despaired of finding a hollow tree for the night. Now have you by chance seen my friend Pike? He's a chipmunk!"

~

Jim keeps up a running commentary through the cab ride home to their apartment in North Beach. Leonard's going to get the man a hotel for the night, or something, anything, just for him to shut up and get out of his hair, but Jo is hanging on his every word, so if he can get her home and safely in bed he can get this guy on his way--

"And the troll was so very large, you see," Jim is saying, "and my axe was stuck in the tree, so of course I had to hurry and climb up, up, and up instead, and that was when Spock arrived. He has a lovely baritone," he concludes with a happy sigh.

"A baritone?" Jo echoes as they get out of the car.

"That'll be thirty bucks," says the cabbie.

"Well he is an Elf," Jim continues. "They sing like you wouldn't even believe!"

"Thirty? You said fifteen!" Leonard glares at the cabbie, rummaging in his wallet while simultaneously keeping an eye on Jim and Jo nearby.

"An Elf?" Jo gasps.

Oh fer cryin' out loud--

"That was before the extra passenger and then the three of you getting my cab all wet!"

"Please, let me," Jim says, joining them. He holds out a large coin to the cabbie; it looks heavy, the face of it worn. It is solid gold.

Both Leonard and the cabbie stare at it, struck dumb.

"Works for me," the cabbie says, making a grab for it, but Leonard thrusts three tens in his hand first.

"Have a nice night," Leonard growls at the man, who grunts in irritation before driving off. "Put that away," he hisses at Jim. "Do you wanna get robbed? Jesus Christ!"

"Ohhhhh," Jo murmurs. "You're gonna have to pay the Swear Box."

"Sorry, darlin'," Leonard says. Jim licks his lips thoughtfully, looking puzzled. The unconsciously sensual gesture rattles him, so he jerks his head to the entryway pointedly. "C'mon, let's go."

"Was that real gold?" Joanna wants to know as they get on the elevator.

"It's all I have," Jim says. "I live in the forest and have little need for money. Sulu gave it to me before I went to the palace--Oh my!" Jim jumps in startlement as the elevator moves, hands splayed flat against the back of it in shock. "What's happening?"

"It's just taking us to our floor," Leonard explains tiredly. "We're on eight. Come on." The elevator chimes as the doors open for them.

"You're a very powerful wizard!" Jim says in admiration as they step out into the hallway.

"Daddy's not a wizard," Jo giggles. "He's a doctor!"

"Damn right," Leonard mutters as he unlocks the door to their apartment.

"Daddy!"

"Sorry, sweetie." He drops a handful of pocket change into the Swear Box, which is near the entrance for just such an occasion. The coins tinkle quietly; at this rate, he's already started planning on using the large jar as the start-up for her college fund...

Sighing, he removes his duster to hang on the coat-rack. Jim is helping Jo with her raincoat, too. "A man always helps a lady with her coat," he explains when he catches Leonard's glare. "Pike taught me this." He hangs the coat up carefully, before stepping back. He's drenched to the skin, himself, the puffy sleeves of his shirt stuck to his strong-looking arms, beads of water pooling in splashes along the leather of his vest and pants.

In the light, Leonard can see now that Jim's hair is a dark blonde, and his eyes are an even brighter blue than they had first appeared. He looks like he's in his early twenties, maybe, and for all that, strangely innocent. Most men wandering around San Francisco in skintight leather just don't have that shy, cheerful look about them.

"What?" he asks, lips quirking upwards in another brilliant smile.

Leonard realizes he's been staring. He blinks, shaking his head. "Nothing. Sorry. Tired. Sorry," he says again, and mentally kicks himself for being an idiot. He turns to Jo. "Go get ready for bed," he tells her. "Nyota's taking you to school tomorrow."

"Okay," Jo mutters, stalking to her room obediently. Half way down the hall, she turns back. "But I want Jim to tell me a bedtime story when I get back!"

Jim gives her a polite little bow. "Delighted, my lady," he says with another grin, his eyes partially shut into blue triangles with amusement.

When he hears the reassuring click of Jo's door shutting, Leonard turns to the other man, taking care to keep his voice low so they won't be heard. "Okay, what do you need? Do you have someone you can call to come get you?"

"What?" Jim looks confused and growing more so, but Leonard continues anyway.

"Do you need money? I've got a little bit left in my wallet but if you use it on drugs I swear--"

"Huh?" Jim's forehead is wrinkled in confusion. "I don't understand--"

The door clicks as Jo runs back to them, attired in her beloved Optimus Prime pajamas. She skids to a stop, glaring at them both.

"Dad," she says like she's six going on thirty-two, "you've left our guest in his wet things? He's gonna get pneumonia and die and it's all gonna be your fault!"

Leonard rolls his eyes just as Jim assures her, "I've never been sick a day in my life, my lady!"

He gives up when he sees Jo flush with pleasure. The guy seems harmless enough... "Come with me," he mutters.

He takes Jim to his room, pulls out an old tshirt and pair of jeans for him. "Bathroom's in there," he gestures, and then pulls out his own pajamas. He turns around just as Jim pulls the jeans up over his hips, examining the fly curiously.

Jim is not wearing any underwear, and--Leonard refrains from further thought. "The bathroom was in there, I said!"

The other man cocks his head to the side, quizzical. "What's a bathroom?" he asks.

~

Leonard thinks he should be worried about having this odd stranger in his home, but somehow he's--not. He's annoyed, and bewildered, and more than a bit confused--particularly with the roundabout story he chooses to tell Jo--but he's not...worried.

"--And so I said to Red, I don't believe you. I've gone hunting with Wolf plenty of times and he just isn't interested in people that way. He likes fish, trust me. Well as you can imagine, Red was less than pleased about that--"

"Wait, wait, wait!" Jo interrupts him. "You said you'd never seen a girl before, but if you've met Red Riding Hood--"

Leonard represses a snort of laughter, beaming at his little girl. God, she was quick, and so damn smart.

Jim's eyes widen comically. "Red's not a girl," he says. "Whoever said he was?"

"Um, everyone ever?" Jo answers. "Are you saying Red Riding Hood is a boy?"

Jim looks awkward. "I wouldn't say that, either--"

"Okay," Leonard interrupts hastily. "Time for bed. Jo, don't repeat any of this to Miss Gretchen. You're sleepin' in my room tonight," he adds. "Now say good night, sweetie."

To both men's surprise, Jo flings her arms around Jim, hugging him tightly. "G'night, Jim," she says, before racing to Leonard's room. They both stare after her in bemusement, and then she peeks her head around the corner. "Will I get to meet Prince Spock?"

"I hope so," Jim answers. He grins at the thought of the other man, then bows at the little girl once more. "Sweet sleep, Lady Joanna." She turns pink at that, giggles, and runs off.

They've already made the couch up for the man, so Leonard just stands, nodding at him awkwardly. He opens and closes his mouth, not sure what to say, and then Jim grins up at him. "You have sweet sleep, too, friend Leonard," he says in that odd, formal way of his. He lies back on the couch trustingly, his shirt rucking upwards to show off a bit of flat stomach.

"Yeaaaaaah," Leonard answers, drawing the word out uncertainly as he tries not to stare. "Thanks. You too." Shaking his head, trying to ignore a familiar but half-forgotten feeling he can't quite bring himself to name, he shuts off the light.

Jo is curled up in bed, holding her beloved toy Mr. Bear under her chin. "Jim's a funny man, isn't he, Daddy?"

"That's one way to put it, sweetheart," he says as he lies down. She cuddles close, putting Mr. Bear on his stomach. He kisses her forehead, and quickly drifts off to sleep.

~

Leonard wakes up in the morning to Jo persistently pulling at his arm. "Wake up, wake up!"

"Ernugh?" he mumbles. He's not a morning person.

"Daaaaaad!" Jo is whining, eager. For a panicky moment Leonard fears that it is Christmas and that he's somehow forgotten. "Something smells good!"

It does, too. The scent of frying bacon and--and pancakes?--wafts through the apartment. Leonard is profoundly confused, particularly since he knows that the only breakfast food in this household consists of cold cereal and boxed muffins from the bakery down the street.

"I think Jim is cooking," Jo says, adding pointedly, "I'm hungry!"

Memories of the night before flood his mind--the odd, beautiful man, the heavy rain... Leonard jumps up, wordless with confusion and curiosity. He opens the bedroom door, stepping out into the short hallway.

"Can you hand me that cup? Thanks!"

Leonard isn't sure who Jim is talking to, and he prepares himself uncertainly for some kind of confrontation....then again, maybe the kid called one of his friends and he'll be gone soon. Nonetheless, he whispers to Jo, "Go back to my room, sweetie. Stay quiet, just in case."

"Dad!"

"Do as I say!" She flinches in surprise, but does as he says. He grabs his old baseball bat from the umbrella stand by the still-locked door (because, really, where do you keep your baseball bats?) and then steps into the kitchen.

A row of pigeons sit along the sill of the open window, regarding Jim with interest as he appears to instruct them in the art of making pancakes. One of them even has its head cocked quizzically as it observes Jim adding batter to the hot pan. "There's a trick to getting them in nice even circles," Jim tells the bird, who makes a low sound of interest in it's throat. "Yeah, it's all in the wrist." He demonstrates the gesture for the animal, and Leonard relaxes a little, admiring those graceful, long-fingered hands.

Then he catches himself, because there are wild animals in his kitchen, and Jim is talking to them.

"What's going on?" he demands. He wants to be furious, but he's really too bewildered to properly manage it, so it comes out much closer to a protesting squawk.

"Good morning, Leonard!" Jim beams at him sunnily. "My friends and I have been cleaning, and I made breakfast!"

Leonard looks around, and yeah, the kitchen and living area are gleaming. The detritus of too many meals eaten in their delivery boxes have disappeared; Jo's toys are all neatly put away in their storage bin in the corner by the couch.

"This is Pavel," Jim says, and the pigeon who had been sitting close to him bobs it's head, like it's nodding to him. "He found the bacon for me this morning."

"Found the bacon?" Leonard echoes, mouthing the words but barely able to make a sound.

"Dad? Can I come out now?" Joanna is plaintive. "Please?"

"Just a second, honey," Leonard calls back. "What's going on, huh?" he asks Jim in a whisper. "Are you some kinda runaway circus freak or somethin'?"

"I made breakfast," Jim repeats worriedly, blue eyes wide. "What's a circus?"

The worst part is how sincere he is. Leonard decides the man can't be on drugs--he has to be, to be autistic or something.

The doorbell rings. "Nyota!" Jo squeals in delight, emerging from the bedroom and hastily undoing the locks to let the woman in. She opens the door, and in steps Leonard's best friend in the world.

"Hey, Jo!" Nyota greets the little girl in surprise. "How come you're not dressed for school yet?"

"Long story," Jo says.

"Uh huh." Nyota makes an amused sound as she takes the little girl's hand. "How about you tell me all about it while we get you dressed?" She looks up at Leonard grinning. "Busy morning? Oh!" She catches sight of Jim and breaks off, staring.

"Good morning, my lady!" Jim says politely. "I made breakfast. Will you be joining us?"

"Uhh..." Nyota hesitates, but a delighted smile is working its way to her lips. "Uh, hold that thought," she calls back. "Quick, tell me everything," she says to Jo, and then they disappear into the little girl's room. The door shuts on uproarious giggling.

"Oh boy, that can't be a good sign," Leonard mutters.

"What is it?" Jim asks.

"They're talkin' about us." Leonard makes a face, scrubbing his hands over his closed eyes. He's been so damn tired these last few weeks--they've been short-staffed at the hospital and everyone's been pulling longer shifts. "I'm bone-tired, is all." He sits down heavily at the little table in the kitchen, newly set for four.

Jim puts a steaming cup of fresh coffee in front of him, and forks three golden pancakes onto his plate. "Here," Jim says, "have some breakfast. Bones," he adds with a grin.

~

Leonard hates to admit it, but Jim's breakfast probably is one of the best meals he's ever had in his life. Nyota and Jo join them after a minute, Jo all dressed up for school, the pair of them exchanging looks and still giggling. With his stomach full and caffeine in his system, however, Leonard is not moved to protest their foolishness.

"So where are you from, Jim?" Nyota asks before taking a bite of her own meal. Her eyes widen. "Oh my God, that is amazing! Where did you learn to cook like this?"

Jim shrugs. "My fairy godfathers taught me," he says. Leonard and Nyota exchange a curious look at that, he shrugging slightly as if to say, See? Jim continues obliviously. "And I live in the Forest past the Meadows of Joy and just beyond the Valley of Contentment."

"Okaaaay," Nyota says. "Is that somewhere around Napa, then?" Leonard shoots her a quelling look, which she ignores as usual. "Are you visiting friends in the city?"

"Oh, Leonard and Jo are my only friends in the city, my lady," Jim says. "I don't know what I'd have done without them! But today is a new day, and I'm sure I'll find Spock soon. We're going to get married!" He looks happier than ever, which is saying something. "He's my prince," he adds to Nyota helpfully.

She nods, nonplussed. "Thank God they repealed Prop 8," she says.

"What's Prop 8?" Jo asks, concentrating on eating her pancake neatly.

"Well, you see, some people want to make laws about who can marry who," Leonard explains. "Prop 8 was a rule saying men couldn't marry men and women couldn't marry women."

"That's horrible!" To the adults' surprise, Jim looks like he wants to cry. Then he looks angry. "Tell me where they are! Spock and I shall set those poltroons on their ears!"

"What's a poltroon?" Jo wants to know.

Leonard concentrates on cutting off Jim's tirade. "Luckily, a lot of people decided that was stupid and threw the law out," he says. "You and your--your prince can head straight to the courthouse now."

Jim sighs with relief. "Oh, that would be lovely, but Spock wants to get married in his father's castle. Well, his Step-father's castle, I suppose it is." He looks thoughtful. "I haven't met King Nero, but I'm sure he's just a lovely fellow, to have raised Spock and all."

"I'm sure," Leonard says politely. He doubts anyone named Nero can be terribly pleasant, but he's not going to say that out loud.

"Well, we should be going," Nyota says. She turns to Jo. "Go get your backpack, sweetie. Got your lunch money?"

Jo nods as she grabs her things, just as Jim hands her a little bag. "I made you a lunch," he says, "just like Archer and Tucker used to make me."

"Let me see that," Leonard says, peering into the bag suspiciously. It appears to hold a sandwich made with golden bread that's still warm, and an apple. "Where did you get that bread?"

"I baked it this morning," Jim says, looking confused.

Nyota peeks into the bag, too, her expression one of naked envy. "You baked?"

"Would you like a sandwich, too, Lady Nyota?" Jim asks politely. "I made one for Leonard, too--I won't be a moment."

"Could you?" Nyota asks in delight, and Jim is already pulling out the loaf of fresh bread--and yeah, Leonard just ate but his stomach growls at the rich buttery scent--and seconds later Jim is handing the woman a lunch bag identical to Jo's. "If you ever decide to bat for the other team, promise me you'll marry me?"

"I don't understand," Jim says. "What about your one true love?"

"Honey, a man who cooks and cleans is true love," Nyota replies with mock-seriousness. "Tell your Spock he's a damn lucky man. It was genuinely nice to meet you." She means that last bit, though, and she turns to Leonard. "I'll pick her up at three. Bye, you." She kisses his cheek, and Jo jumps up to kiss him bye as well.

"Be safe, girls," he tells them, and then they are out the door.

~

He takes Jim to work with him, thinking M'Benga can help figure out whatever his problem is. Chapel can make a few phone calls, too--maybe figure out if there are any Missing Persons in the area.

"This is where you work?" Jim looks at the UCSF Medical Center in awe. "This is amazing! What do you do here?"

"Cancer research," Leonard says shortly. "Pediatrics ward." He doesn't talk about his work with strangers, much. "Hey, Geoff," he calls out to his friend, "can you do me a favor?"

"Yeah, sure," the other man says. He looks serious. "Got a moment?"

"Wait here," Leonard instructs Jim, leaving him by the large aquarium they keep in the waiting areas. It's filled with brightly colored fish that never fail to fascinate small children and calm anxious parents. Jim nods, eyes wide as he stares into the water.

M'Benga waits for him off to the side. "We lost Kelly Rodriguez last night," he murmurs.

Leonard feels his stomach plummet. "Dammit, why wasn't I called?" he growls. "I could've done something--"

"No, you couldn't," Geoff says gently. He squeezes his arm in sympathy. "I'm sorry, Leonard."

He feels exhausted and--that's it, really. Just exhausted. "Dammit," he says again.

"Yeah, I know." Geoff and he are both silent a moment. Then, to his surprise, the other man snorts, lips twitching in amusement. "Who's your friend?"

Leonard turns around, and sees Jim animatedly going on about something to two rapt children and their bemused parents. In his Renaissance Fair-esque clothing, he stands out like a sore thumb. The mother detaches herself from the others as Jim pulls something out of his pockets, crouching down to the ground and starting to--juggle some walnuts, it looks like.

Geoff and he both stiffen as the woman approaches them. "Can we help--?" Geoff starts, but she interrupts him.

"Who is he with?" she asks. "Is it Make-A-Wish? Because he's wonderful!"

"Er," Leonard says.

"Yeah, totally, he is," says Geoff.

"Yeah," Leonard echoes. "Yes, he is. Yeah."

"Oh that's so lovely!" the woman enthuses. "Normally Anna's crying her eyes out coming here, but look at her!" The little girl is indeed dry-eyed, listening to Jim very seriously as he sits on the ground and demonstrates tossing one of the nuts in the air, catching it with ease. She imitates him, laughing as she catches it. Leonard feels his lips lifting as he watches them; feels something frozen inside start to melt, just a little bit.

The mother leaves them, going back to her family. Anna hugs Jim hard, and he looks astonished, then laughs and waves goodbye to them as they head to the nurses' station.

"Who is he, Leonard?" Geoff asks.

"I have no idea," he answers honestly.

~

The whole of the nursing staff is equally enamored with Jim and his antics, taking turns to keep an eye on him while he sits in the waiting room, telling earnest but amusing fairy tales to wide-eyed children, or teaching them to juggle or other simple games.

Mid-shift, Chapel finds Leonard, holding her hands palms up in apology and bewilderment. "He's got no ID, nothing," she says. "Roger called the police just to see, and he doesn't fit the description of any missing persons. And Geoff's talked to him for a while, too--no sign of any abnormality or psychosis. He wondered for a while if it was PTSD or something, then dismissed that, too. He's a functional adult, it's just that he's a bit--" She pauses, waving her fingers expressively. "He's perfectly nice and no trouble," she adds carefully. "The desk attendants are prepared to give him an award for extraordinary valor, the way he's been helping people all day."

"You've gotta be kidding me." Leonard gives her a hard look. "You too? Everyone's falling all over themselves for this guy! Even you're giving me the 'can we keep him?' treatment. You, Chris! What gives?"

"Hey, Bones!" Jim runs up to him, all but bouncing with glee. Leonard mouths "Bones?" in silent confusion while Chapel looks like she wants to laugh. "Doctor M'Benga said to
tell you it was time for your lunch break. He suggested we go to a place called 'White Castle'. Can we?"

Leonard closes his eyes, ignoring the incipient headache that threatens at Geoff's idea of a joke.

"What?" Jim looks confused.

In any event, they do go out to lunch, but to the coffee shop across the street called Common Grounds instead. They've gotten busier since that novel about the place came out, and sometimes non-locals see Leonard's name badge and want to know if that's his real name. It's annoying as hell.

They get sandwiches and coffee--well, Leonard gets coffee, Jim gets a bottle of apple juice. A barista Leonard doesn't recognize offers Jim a free concoction that appears to be made of largely caramel and whipped cream.

Jim gawks at it. "Oh my! That looks amazing!" he reaches for it, but Leonard pulls him away. "That'll rot your teeth and clog your arteries," he says sternly. "Sorry, Ayel." Leonard reads the name off the man's apron, hoping he's said the name right, and leads Jim to a seat by one of the windows instead.

"So tell me about yourself," Leonard continues after a moment. "We really haven't had much time to talk, and all."

"Well, I'm a woodsman," Jim says with that rambunctious enthusiasm that reminds him of a puppy. "I live in a tree, and take care of the forest with my friends."

Leonard snorts. "You sound like a character from Ferngully," he says. The other man blinks in confusion. "Sorry, sorry, keep going."

Jim chatters for a while, describing all the animals of the forest, most of whom talk (of course), and explaining how his fairy godparents brought him there.

"My parents died before I was born," Jim continues sadly, looking more puppy-like than ever.

Leonard stares at him. "That's not even possible," he says. "It's just--not."

Jim shrugs. "I assure you, it is," he says. "It's what Pike always told me."

"Pike," Leonard echoes. "The, uh, chipmunk?"

"Uh huh." Jim grins brightly then. "But it all works out, right? I met Spock, and we're going to get married, and live happily ever after!"

"Right." Leonard shrugs mentally, taking a sip of his coffee. Poor sap. "And, uh, how long have you and this Spock guy known each other?"

"A day." Jim smiles, the expression blooming over his features like a flower turning to the sun.

Leonard refrains from spewing his coffee back out--barely. Instead, he ends up inhaling some of it, chokes, and coughs roughly. "A day?" he demands when he can talk again. "A day?"

"Uh huh." Jim is oblivious to his horror. "And tomorrow, it will be two days!"

"That's insane!" Leonard says. "Ridiculous! You can't seriously mean to marry someone after only knowing them a day!"

Jim's blue eyes are wide and confused. "Why not?"

“Relationships just don’t work like that.” Leonard can’t believe he’s having this conversation with a grown man. “They just—don’t. There’s dating and getting to know each other and meeting each other’s friends and family. All these things, they take time!”

Jim looks confused. “Dates?” he echoes. “What’s a…date?”

Leonard refrains from rolling his eyes, but only just. “A date is, y’know, where you go out with someone. You talk, you see a movie, share a meal, stuff like that.”

“And after these dates, that’s when you get married?” Jim looks skeptical.

"Well, marriage takes lots of work and planning, and--and making sure you're right for each other," Leonard explains. "And even then, things don't always work out!" He slumps in his chair, feeling tired all over again. "Believe me, I know," he mutters.

"Bones--Leonard." Jim looks sympathetic, licking his bottom lip hesitantly. "Where's Joanna's mother?"

"She left us three years ago," he says slowly. "There were lots of reasons--reasons why." He stumbles on that. "Anyhow, Jo and I moved out here. I already knew Nyota from college, and she's been a lifeline for Jo. They do girl stuff together. So we get by okay, you see," he concludes.

Jim listens to this, bewilderment, confusion, and sympathy playing over his face in rapid succession. When Leonard is done, he grasps his hand eagerly. "Oh, but don't you see, Bones?" he says. "You just married the wrong person, is all. When you find your real true love, and share True Love's First Kiss"--and yeah, the way he says it, the words are all capitalized, hell, illuminated, even--"everything will be wonderful! You'll see! What?" he asks uncertainly as Leonard continues to stare at the man.

"How do you do that?" he asks. "You're just so--so damn certain that things are going to work out all the time. How can you be that hopeful in the world we live in?"

"Oh, Bones!" Jim says fondly, and with such clear affection that Leonard can't even tell him to stop calling him by that ridiculous nickname he seems to have acquired. "I know the world seems like a hard place, and sometimes it is, but honestly, there's just so much wonderful about it, too! You can't block everything out just to protect yourself from maybes."

"Is that what you think I'm doing? Blocking everything out?"

"I'm certain of it," Jim says with as much seriousness as Leonard has yet seen. "Don't do that to yourself, or to Jo either."

Leonard doesn't answer immediately, just stares at their joined hands. Jim pulls his back with a slightly panicked expression, as if he's been burned.

~

They leave the shop, then, and return to the hospital. Leonard's shift ends at four that afternoon, so the rest of the day is a blur as he goes in and out of patients’ rooms, checking in with kids and their parents. When the day is over he’s in an even darker mood than he was before, and in fact he’s almost forgotten Jim, who waits patiently for him in the waiting room.

“Bones!” the man calls out when he sees him.

Leonard exhales heavily; all he wants to do is go home, not deal with—with misplaced woodsmen, or whatever. “Oh, good, you’re still here,” he mutters.

If Jim hears or understands his sarcasm, he gives no sign of it, bright smile remaining firmly in place. “I heard about the most wonderful place!” he says with his usual, almost child-like enthusiasm. “Let’s go!”

That’s how they find themselves in Golden Gate Park.

That’s how, fairly inexplicably, Leonard McCoy finds himself standing in the middle of a perfectly choreographed dance sequence complete with background chorus and orchestration as Jim eagerly expresses his belief in true love in song.

If Leonard nods his head in time to the music, it’s only because it’s been a very, very long day.

“Oh look,” Jim says, pointing to a sign advertising a Fantasy Ball the next night. “That sounds wonderful! You should take Nyota!”

Leonard makes a thoughtful sound. He does owe her dearly, and she does love dancing…. “Maybe,” he says.

Jim looks deeply pleased, almost smug, as they head home after that.

~

“I just worry, is all,” Leonard explains that night at dinner. They are at an Italian place near his apartment in North Beach, a Neapolitan pizzeria called Bellissimo’s. Nyota and Jo are helping Señora Molena to make tomorrow’s batch of gnocchi, and Leonard is on his second glass of wine and feeling sleepy and talking more than he usually does about—things he tries not to talk about.

“About Jo?” Jim grins at the little girl. “She’s a great kid, Bones.”

“I just—I want her to be strong is all,” Leonard says wistfully. “She’s so sweet and the world is so—not.”

“Don’t say that, Bones. You should have more faith!”

“Uh huh. I guess.” Leonard feels remarkably relaxed now. Which is weird, because he’s having dinner with a guy he swore was a drug-addict or something the night before. He feels a little chuckle bubble up out of him, because, really, it doesn’t stand to reason that a man as innocent as Jim is should even be surviving here—and yet, he was.

Jim glances back at him, frowning a little. His forehead is wrinkled very seriously in thought, and Leonard feels his lips twitch upwards in response. Jim’s eyes widen almost comically at that. “Bones,” he says very seriously, “we’ve had coffee, and we’re at a restaurant right now. Is this a—a date?”

Leonard almost chokes on his bite of pizza. “No!” he says immediately. Jim looks taken aback. “Uh, no,” he says more calmly, “um, friends can have coffee and meals out too, and all.”

“Oh.” Jim’s expression looks odd, almost regretful even, but then Joanna laughs at something Nyota has said and he’s grinning at them, and that whole sad look may well have been Leonard’s imagination.

“So,” Leonard starts to say instead, but suddenly there’s a scream from somewhere behind him, and a small furry creature has leaped on to their table.

“Pike!” Jim is delighted. “Where have you been?”

The waiter, who looks strangely familiar and who has an odd, elaborate mustache that has to be fake, is bounding over with a broom, aiming furiously for the—yes, the chipmunk. “I’ll get you, you little—“ he growls, plates and glasses tosses and shattering in disarray as he tries to get to the creature. Leonard pulls Jo up out of harm’s way, holding her face protectively to his chest. Jim looks like he wants to start a fight, body tense and bristling, but Nyota is pulling him back gently.

“Daddy what happened to the pizza?” Jo mumbles against his chest. The surface of the pizza is moving unnaturally.

“Pike!” Jim cries.

“Aha!” says the waiter, flinging the pizza into the oven. An impressive flame bursts forth, then disappears. The air smells like heat and burned cheese, and there’s applause from the other customers, and Jim looks crushed.

Reporters appear shortly afterwards. “No rodent remains were found,” a woman says very seriously to the camera, and Jim perks up. “How do you feel about this, sir?” She sticks a microphone in his face.

“Wonderful!” Jim declares, to the woman’s horror.

“Pike is very smart,” he reassures Joanna that night. Leonard overhears them as he comes out of the bathroom, freshly showered and in his pajamas.

“Yeah?” She sits in her bed, Mr. Bear at her side. “I hope he’s okay.”

“I’m sure he is.” Jim beams at her. “He’s gotten me out of a tight spot or two. I’m sure he’s fine.”

When his daughter is safely asleep, Leonard shakes his head at the younger man. “You should be careful about things like that,” he says. “False hope is a diffcult thing for kids.” To his surprise, Jim’s blue eyes glint ferociously.

“Hope isn’t false, Leonard!” he says, glaring. “What is with you! All the time? No hope, no faith, nothing! You make me so...so...!” He’s worked himself up, agitated to the point of being unable to finish his sentence.

“Angry?” Leonard suggests dryly.

“Angry!” Jim concludes. “Oh!” He looks gobsmacked. Sounding dazed, he echoes, “I’m angry!”

He flushes then, and abruptly the room feels a few degrees too warm, and Leonard’s pajamas feel thin. The damp cloth clings to his body, and Jim seems fixated on his exposed chest, the spot right over his heart. They are both silent, and then Leonard finally wills himself to get the hell out of there before—just before. “Good night, Jim.”

~

Leonard wakes up to the scents of coffee and something that smells mouthwateringly like cinnamon rolls. Some time he’s going to ask Jim where he learned to cook like that, but as it is he’s stretching leisurely before getting out of bed, wrapping his old bathrobe about himself as he heads to the kitchen. Jo is already sitting at the table, a tall glass of milk and a pastry on her plate.

“They’re hot cross buns,” Jim is explaining to Jo, who takes a happy bite out of the said bun.

“It’s yummy,” she says contentedly.

On most days, Leonard probably would have had something to say about sugar consumption right about now, but it’s Saturday, so he lets it pass. He sits down next to Jo, and Jim puts a cup of coffee and a plate in front of him. “Thanks,” he says, smiling at the other man. Jim beams back as usual, and Leonard tries not to think about how easy it could be getting used to this. He’s just taking a sip when there’s a knock on the door, and the three of them look at one another in confusion.

“I’ll get it,” Jim says immediately, and he’s up and opening the door, and then all of a sudden a tall, thin man with pointed ears leaps into the room.

“Jim!” he cries.

“Spock!” Jim looks gobsmacked. “What are you doing here?”

“Saving you,” Spock answers. He thrusts the tip of his sword beneath Leonard’s chin.

Shocked, Leonard hears himself say with surprising calm, “Jo, run to your room. Now.”

“Daddy!” Jo’s voice shakes, near tears.

“Spock, no!” Jim puts himself between the two of them, carefully pushing the blade away with his naked hands. “They’re friends!”

The—Elf?—looks dubious at that. “Are you quite certain, my love?”

“Yeah,” Jim says quickly. “Totally certain. Completely. There is nothing but certainty here.”

Spock hesitates for a moment, then sheathes his sword. “My apologies,” he says formally, making an elaborate bow to Leonard and Jo. He turns to Jim then, a soft smile overtaking his features, and Leonard can hear the distant upswell of a massive orchestra. “I’ve been dreaming of my true love’s kiss—“

The orchestra peters out. Spock looks confused. “To finish...” he prompts.

“Spock?” Jim stares at the Elf, who looks bewildered.

“Why aren’t you singing, my love?”

Jim looks surprised as well. “I—I guess I didn’t feel like it,” he says uncertainly.

“Didn’t feel like it?” Spock echoes blankly.

This statement irritates Leonard. “If he doesn’t feel like singing, he doesn’t have to,” he says. “So, y’know. There,” he concludes, like the mature adult he is.

Spock blinks at this statement owlishly, before turning to the woodsman in question. “Shall we go now, my love?”

“Uh, well, actually,” Jim hedges, much to Leonard’s surprise. Finally he blurts, “I want us to go out on a date first!”

“Of course!” Spock says immediately. Then, “What’s a date?”

~

They say good-bye awkwardly outside the apartment building. Jo looks like she’s trying very hard not to cry.

“You must visit us at the palace,” Spock says. “We would love to have you, of course.”

“Of course,” Jim echoes.

“Yeah,” Leonard says lamely. “Sounds good.” He has no idea where the hell they’re going anyway, but whatever.

Jim and Spock disappear off to their date, and Nyota appears for their Saturday brunch shortly afterwards. She takes one look at both of them and asks, “What happened?”

“Hey, Nyota,” Leonard asks instead, “would you like to go to a ball tonight?”

~

The Fantasy Ball is at the Westin St. Francis, and Nyota procures splendid Regency-style outfits for the both of them.

“I look ridiculous,” he grumbles, pulling awkwardly at the tight breeches.

“You look fabulous,” she corrects.

They blend perfectly with the array of dancers in the ballroom. Nyota is a splendid dancer, and he doesn’t do so badly himself.

“How come you and I never got together?” he asks after their first dance.

Nyota laughs softly at that. “Because I’m a romantic and you’re not,” she says. “And because you haven’t looked at a woman that way since Jocelyn Darnell.”

Leonard grunts. “What’s that supposed to—“ He breaks off, because he happens to look up, and there are Jim and Spock. Jim is resplendant in an ivory shirt with a blue and gold waistcoat, and brown leather breeches. Spock wears his clothing from earlier, a red and gold outfit that looks more than a little bit cartoon-like. Jim grins at him, but it looks faded somehow.

“Hey,” the woodsman says.

“Hi.” Leonard just stares at him.

“We haven’t been introduced,” Nyota says carefully, eyeing the pair of them. She turns to Spock. “My name is Nyota.”

Spock bows, kissing her hand. “My lady,” he says, “it is a pleasure to make your beautious acquaintance.”

“Oh.” Nyota’s skin darkens in surprised pleasure. “Uh, thank you.”

“Well folks, it’s that time of night,” announces the emcee. “I’d like to invite each of you to ask someone you did not bring this evening to dance the King and Queen waltz.”

The four of them exchange awkward looks. “My lady?” Spock asks Nyota, holding his arm out invitingly. She nods, and he escorts her to the dance floor as a slow ballad plays.

Jim and Leonard stand back in the shadows, then Leonard takes a deep breath. “Shall we?” he asks. Jim nods, and they too join the pairs moving gracefully to the music.

Normally he hates dancing, but... Jim’s body moves with his, and the music swells around them, and everything seems easy somehow. Leonard finds himself singing quietly along to the lyrics, and Jim’s eyes are wide and blue, and all too soon the song is ending.

“May I cut in?” Spock asks, Nyota looking on in puzzlement.

“Of course,” Leonard says automatically.

“We should go.” Leonard stares at Jim, who doesn’t meet his eyes, and who shifts uncomfortably. “Now.”

Spock looks confused as well. “Of course, my love,” he agrees softly. “I’ll get your coat.”

Leonard watches the other two men walk away. “Come on, Leonard,” Nyota says gently, and he lets himself be pulled back into the crowd. He’s vaguely aware of thunder, as if a distant storm is building outside. And then there’s a scream, and he sees Jim fall.

“Jim!” The cry escapes his lips and he’s at the man’s side before he knows it, checking his vitals. His pulse is faint, his face strangely pale.

“Someone get a doctor!” he hears behind him.

“I am a doctor,” he mutters. He hears Nyota on her cell phone, calling for an ambulance. “Jim! Come on, man, stay with me. What’s the matter with you?”

“It was him.” A strange man that Leonard recognizes from both the coffeeshop and the pizzeria points accusingly at a tall, angry-looking man in black. “He used poison!”

“You did this, Father?” Spock looks horrified and angry. “How could you?”

“Oh pay no attention to him,” the man—Nero?—says. “His wits have been addled—“

“Silence, you treacherous snake!” Spock’s features are twisted in fury and fear. “You will answer for your crimes when we return home. Now help Jim!”

Leonard is still checking Jim over but—nothing is wrong, except for the fact that he appears to be dying.

“Love’s true kiss?” Ayel suggests.

Spock nods, relieved. “Of course.” Leonard steps back as the prince takes the woodsman in his arms, kissing him thoroughly.

Nothing happens.

Nero laughs. “Better hurry, sweet prince,” he says. “Err the clock strikes twelve, he’ll be dead.” As if on cue, a clock begins to chime the hour loudly.

Spock looks confused and worried, kissing him again. No change: Jim is as pale and still as ever. He turns to Leonard, eyes wide and near-pleading. “Please,” he says, “don’t let him die.”

It takes him a minute to catch on to what he’s saying, even as the chiming continues ominously.

What it means.

“It’s not—“ He fumbles. “I can’t—“

“He’ll die if you don’t!” Spock says.

“That’s not the way it goes,” Leonard says in a near panic. “This doesn’t happen in real life—“

“Shut up and kiss him, Leonard!” Nyota orders fiercely. Spock and he both stare at her, and she gives them a small smile. “It’s alright. Just—do it, Leonard. Quickly!”

The clock strikes again, louder than ever.

“Oh God,” Leonard murmurs to himself. He bends down next to Jim, hardly believing he’s doing this, let alone in a crowded room with a hundred lookers-on. He exhales softly. “Stay with me, Jim. Please.”

And he kisses him.

The clock strikes twelve.

Jim’s eyes open.

“Oh, I knew it was you,” the woodsman murmurs, and kisses him back fiercely as the ballroom erupts into furious applause.

“Oh good grief!” They break apart at another rumble of thunder, and Nero’s face is twisted in a scowl. “What is with you people? Too many movies! As if the most powerful thing in the world is love, and not me!”

And with that he half-crouches, ominous green light glowing around him, as he transforms into an honest-to-God, black-scaled and gleaming dragon. The crowd cries out in panic, party-goers heading to the emergency exits quickly. Spock draws his sword, but is quickly tossed to the side by a powerful move of of Nero’s new, gleaming tail. “Foolish boy, always in the way,” Nero says in his deep reptilian voice. “And as for you,” he rounds on Leonard, “come on, hero. Let’s see how this story really ends!”

Leonard finds himself in a rough, clawed grip. He struggles to get free, but Nero’s talons are like steel, and the dragon is pulling him outside the building as it climbs to the top of the hotel, into the night. The air is thick with rain and electricity from the storm, and they’re dozens of floors up, and--

“Come, on, Jim,” Nero taunts, “let’s see how brave you really are!”

Leonard feels sick to his stomach. The height, the imminent death—he can’t even bring himself to make a sound.

“Hold on, Bones!” Jim cries, and he’s following them. “I’m coming!”

“You’re as foolish as my son!” Nero snorts derisively. “Romantics! Don’t you know how these stories end in real life?”

“You let him go!” Jim has Spock’s sword.

“True love and happy endings—please!” Nero laughs. “Welcome to the real world!”

Leonard is aware of an angry chittering sound, and the chipmunk Pike salutes him cleverly as he runs to the tip of Nero’s tail—unbalancing him from his perch. Astonished, Nero lets Leonard go, and he drops to the roof heavily, sliding down.

Jim catches him before he topples off the end, and they watch as Nero plummets into space, disappearing with an ugly cry into gleaming light. Pike chitters with interest, joining them.

“Wow,” Leonard breathes, taking in Jim, who is soaked to the skin. “Are you okay?”

“Never better, Bones,” he says, his familiar smile brighter than ever. “You?”

Leonard feels himself start to grin back. “I think I’m pretty good, considering,” he says, and that’s when Jim kisses him, the kind of kiss that makes him forget they’re on a rooftop in a thunderstorm after having almost been killed. The kind that’s meant for happily ever afters.

~

Nyota looks at the empty room thoughtfully from where she sits. Her dress was ripped at some point, and the night air echoes with sirens. She hears Jim and Leonard talking as they take the fire exit down. She probably should, too, but she’s too tired to move.

“Why so sad, my lady?” Prince Spock looks no better than she does, his clothes ripped and torn, sword missing, hair in disarray.

“I’m not sad,” she says, “just—jealous, I suppose.” She gives him an apologetic shrug. “They get their happily ever after, and—“

“—And why shouldn’t we?” Spock raises a quizzical eyebrow at her. “My lady?” and his voice has a different, questioning quality to it, and he holds out a hand to her.

Nyota giggles, then laughs in delight, and takes it. They follow Jim and Leonard down the stairs, out into the cool air of early morning.

And of course, they too live happily ever after.

Totally Not The End.

Comments

( 63 comments — Add your .02 )
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suddenlyswept
Oct. 15th, 2010 06:21 am (UTC)
So, you are well aware of my love for this.

But I am gonna say it again . . . LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE!

It just makes me smile! So much fun

*squishes*
caitri
Oct. 15th, 2010 06:22 am (UTC)
D'awwww!!!! Thank you, bb! *squishes back*
(no subject) - suddenlyswept - Oct. 15th, 2010 03:48 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
caitri
Oct. 15th, 2010 01:36 pm (UTC)
Hee, thanks!!
amine_eyes
Oct. 15th, 2010 06:58 am (UTC)
You used Common Grounds! *dances delightedly around the place*

I loved the way this played out, very amusing and yet tender and with that extra dash of magic that fairytales need :)

Very well done :D
caitri
Oct. 15th, 2010 01:37 pm (UTC)
:D

I got a deep case of the sillies when I was writing this. Could you tell? ;)
(Deleted comment)
caitri
Oct. 15th, 2010 01:37 pm (UTC)
Caitri, providing mental cavities to fangirls since 1981. ;)
dramapunk
Oct. 15th, 2010 08:19 am (UTC)
"Okaaaay," Nyota says. "Is that somewhere around Napa, then?" Leonard shoots her a quelling look, which she ignores as usual. "Are you visiting friends in the city?"


HAHAHAH ROTFLWAFFLE


Also anytime doll any time.

This was wonderful. <3 <3 <3
caitri
Oct. 15th, 2010 01:38 pm (UTC)
:D

Thanks, bb, and thanks for your help!!!!!!!!!!!
elfsausage
Oct. 15th, 2010 09:09 am (UTC)
*dances the happy dance of happy* Awesomesauce! And I saw what you did there! Common Grounds! They've gotten busier since that novel about the place came out I loled, really!

I do love my fairy tales, so this was brilliant fun, bb.
caitri
Oct. 15th, 2010 01:39 pm (UTC)
Gratuitous Cait is gratuitous. That is all. Glad it made you laugh, I wrote this to cheer myself up after a rotten week!
writer_klmeri
Oct. 15th, 2010 11:21 am (UTC)
*applause* *applause* Thank you for this! I did not know I needed this before work, I really really did. Excellent, funny, entertaining, heart-warming crossover! <3

Edited at 2010-10-15 11:22 am (UTC)
caitri
Oct. 15th, 2010 01:39 pm (UTC)
:) Glad I could do some cheering!!!!!!!!!!!
secretsolitaire
Oct. 15th, 2010 12:37 pm (UTC)
*beams* I enjoyed this very much! This Jim is such a sweetheart, and I like that he gave a cynical Leonard something to believe in.

Also loved the Common Grounds reference. :-)
caitri
Oct. 15th, 2010 01:40 pm (UTC)
:D I threw that in for giggles cos the setting was the same. And I'm glad happy!Jim worked for you. *beam*
avictoriangirl
Oct. 15th, 2010 01:18 pm (UTC)
AWWWW. This was just wonderful! ♥
caitri
Oct. 15th, 2010 01:40 pm (UTC)
:D :D Thanks, bb!!
mallorypen
Oct. 15th, 2010 02:38 pm (UTC)
to the coffee shop across the street called Common Grounds instead. They've gotten busier since that novel about the place came out, and sometimes non-locals see Leonard's name badge and want to know if that's his real name. It's annoying as hell.

I lol'd.

WTF IS WRONG WITH DISNEY?! THEY MADE THE WRONG VERSION, because clearly this fic is the way it was meant to be. Oh God, Jim doing the epic song-and-dance in Golden Gate Park... you kill me. You really do. I love this.
caitri
Oct. 15th, 2010 04:37 pm (UTC)
:D :D

I have an epic mental image of Karl/McCoy looking all growly and in dark, surrounded by brightly-dressed people singing and dancing in a park, and then him a bright smile and jazz hands mockingly.
bozothemoose
Oct. 15th, 2010 04:15 pm (UTC)
Um, I almost gave myself a hernia laughing.

This was the BEST. THING. EVER.
caitri
Oct. 15th, 2010 04:37 pm (UTC)
Okay so yeah, hernias are awkward, but I AM glad you laughed that hard. ;)
hardlyunlikely
Oct. 15th, 2010 07:39 pm (UTC)
i totally ADORED this!
i love Innocent Jim, there so much to do to corrupt him ;]

greaaat work
caitri
Oct. 15th, 2010 11:16 pm (UTC)
:D Thanks!
anutty1
Oct. 15th, 2010 07:44 pm (UTC)
I had a cheesy smile on my face the whole time I read this! This was just too adorable, and I caught the cheeky self-reference in there, brilliant! Fun, fun read!
caitri
Oct. 15th, 2010 11:17 pm (UTC)
Shame? What's that? ;)

Glad you enjoyed it!
blue_jack
Oct. 15th, 2010 08:47 pm (UTC)
Oh my gosh, this was awesome, bb! *squees* So much fun and it had me smiling the whole time! I enjoyed every second! *glomps*
caitri
Oct. 15th, 2010 11:18 pm (UTC)
D'awww, thanks!! *beam*

I'm working at your prof!fic bit by bit, fwiw. :)
reena_jenkins
Oct. 15th, 2010 10:57 pm (UTC)
Ok, I'm calling dibs on the podfic rights, based off the summary alone. I shall re-affirm these dibs as soon as I finish reading the fic.

Just so you know.
caitri
Oct. 15th, 2010 11:15 pm (UTC)
ROFLMAO!

Um, I don't think you're in a competition with anyone for podfic rights, but, uh, granted. *is deeply entertained*
(no subject) - reena_jenkins - Oct. 15th, 2010 11:23 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - caitri - Oct. 15th, 2010 11:25 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - reena_jenkins - Oct. 17th, 2010 12:59 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - caitri - Oct. 17th, 2010 02:44 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - reena_jenkins - Oct. 17th, 2010 03:27 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - caitri - Oct. 17th, 2010 03:30 am (UTC) - Expand
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