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oof

Have done more hard partying this weekend than in rest of lifetime previously. Everyone did their best to get me shnookered and may have succeeded (I dunno what a hangover feels like precisely but have felt icky today).

Carolynn and Eric: That was some party. Yowza, with a bullet and a shot of jager. Thanks loads for letting me come!!! :)

In other news, rather than blue I am now purpley-red. Quite nifty for the holidays, particularly as I am catching the train home tomorrow night. Whee!

I am doing my counselor's required dwelling right now and so here are my findings for the past couple days:

Good:
-lovely parties with obscenely nummy food, drink, and fun
-going purpley-red
-finally getting to wear my cool sweater
-quality time with friends and felines
-studying (yes this is a good thing, mostly because I was helping rather than doing myself :D)
-copy of Banewreaker FINALLY came in mail (ordered it back in freaking October) and so I know what I'm reading tomorrow night!


Bad:
-being too shy to really talk too much at either party (I know I need to work on that, but I get overwhelmed by lots of people and actually all of Friday was so nervous I gave myself a tummyache)
-feeling excessive guilt over personal issues (same old shite: I hate dwelling: I hate having to think over everything over and over)
-feeling guilt for things cannot control, such as complete lack of coordination and anything resembling grace, as well as inability to properly express some things verbally

Thus, despite my Good list being longer than the Bad, I feel inexplicably Ergy right now. If I am feeling like this when I have lovely things to look forward to in coming days (home, friends, felines, etc), am dreading how I will feel in January when there's really nothing to look forward to.

Maybe this is chemical after all? I do not know if this would be good or not. On the one hand, if it was chemical I'd know I don't feel ungood because I am ungood but because of stupid lil thingies in my brain. On the other hand, I'd be kept on a constant rotation of pills and things quite possibly for the rest of my life, and those stuff that may or may not work (stupid genes).

Geesh. In the meantime I am working on figuring out some New Year's Resolutions and whatnot. Oy.

Comments

( 2 comments — Add your .02 )
secret_october
Dec. 21st, 2004 07:14 am (UTC)
I forgot to tell you, that um when you go to an Anderton party, you pretty much party! It was a blast,and I am glad that you had fun!

--Carolynn
caitri
Dec. 21st, 2004 03:44 pm (UTC)
Heh, it was an awesome party! :) C'mon, would I do jager for just anybody? I. don't. think. so. :D
( 2 comments — Add your .02 )

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