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Grrr (Wedding Rant Ahoy!)

So one of my sisters has already announced she's not coming to the wedding. Even though it's over a year away, she claims a trip to DC for her and her family would cost $3000 (not sure how she came up with that figure anyway...gas maybe?? Plane tickets wouldn't cost too much, hotels not way outta line either depending where they are, and it's only a couple days anyway...) and they "simply cannot DO that." I also don't get why she couldn't just come herself if it was that big a deal, and since she and her husband both work fulltime at good jobs I'm not quite sure I buy that argument. I've always known she was cheap, which sounds mean except it's true cos she'll go on at lengths at how much she'll save by not doing this, that, or the other. I'm honestly not *too* surprised (she didn't go to my other sister's second wedding because "it didn't suit her schedule") but it also hurts my feelings that she just went ahead and made up her mind before I've even bought invitations, let alone sent them.

My guest list is also pathetically small as it is--it was around twenty people for my side, now down to 17 because of her, and this is including all my friends. Scott's list tops fifty already and he knows most of those people will come. I feel--not unloved, exactly, just very lonely.

I already feel slightly cheated because of a number of issues. I'm (most likely) going to use my sister's backup dress to save money, even though I always thought it would be neat to have a fancy dress (I say "most likely" as Scott reassures me if I really want my own dress I can have it and we'll figure it out, though I think I'd feel guilty doing that as we desperately need that extra money for other things). I am SICK of my Mom constantly telling me no one will come, even though I'm begging her for people's names just so I can send Save-the-Dates. I am researching the heck out of bargain-places so that I can have flowers and stuff and not feel like the best I can scrap up is triskits for appetizers or something. I don't want a huge, materialist affair but I at least want something like my sisters got. I am fully prepared to live like a mouse for the next year if only people could come and be happy with me. It seems so unfair that that's too much to ask.

Comments

( 2 comments — Add your .02 )
neojess
Feb. 6th, 2007 03:57 am (UTC)
Oh, do I know this feeling. Trust me, you should have seen the extravaganza my sister-in-law got. Meanwhile, his family didn't even want to help PLAN ours. We ended up "immediate family only" while she got a 200+ affair at a yacht club. Ugh.
There's a bunch of ways to save money on gowns, and you can get something really nice for under 500. First, you should figure out what style you want and what'll look good on you.
If I were you, I'd treat myself to a shopping trip at a specialty wedding place - there's a good one in Alexandria, and there used to be one in Baltimore, near that Cannery shopping complex. You can look for free, and either become disgusted at the frooforah, or find the type of dress you really want, and then get it somewhere for a LOT less. I can help you find it online...I'm good at it.
Ssecondly, as for food - please. Ask Chef Phil Prifold, if he's still there, what to do, or even for a student to contact. Some of those students are amazingly talented (one, who graduated, is Jamie Miles) and you can get a wine-and-appetizer affair that will knock your socks off.
Flowers? I'm no good at those, but you know Baltimore has a really great outdoor market, right? Now, there'd be a good resource for flowers.
caitri
Feb. 6th, 2007 04:24 am (UTC)
Thanks. I know there's TONS of stuff I can do, and believe me I'm working on it, I just hate the FEELING. In retrospect I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised, as my family for some reason seems to have a dim opinion of me at times (apparently people were really surprised I completed my Master's, though I have no clue why). I'm just beyond frustrated with the defeated "oh why bother getting you a list of people who probably won't come, not that I've really asked anyone so I have little basis in saying that, and you're on a schedule and all" attitude. I get that planning is stressful, but I thought the uphill battles were supposed to involve getting parents to cut down on the list of people you've never heard of, not beg for contact info of immediate family. Grr. Argh.

I'm totally Yellow Pagesing those places you mentioned. Thanks for being cheering. :)
( 2 comments — Add your .02 )

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