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Ahab, Ikea, and Underworld

First of all, I finished Ahab's Wife which is one of the more annoying books I've read. It's almost 700 pages long and Ahab's in there for maybe 50. It might as well have been The Anachronistically Liberated Wife of a Whaler Who Happened to Be Obsessed by a White Whale. Sure Una is anti-slavery, pro-equal rights, and all this but just happens to be a little icked by homosexuality. And then she ends up marrying Ishmael in the LAST TWO PAGES when he was introduced six pages before that! WTF?? Grr. Me bitter. Arr.

~~

Scott was in a major nesting mood and when I got in from work last night insisted we go shopping. So most of today was spent at Target and Ikea acquiring various homey items, including a new lamp, rug, and sofa. I've singed the devil card but man my place is going to be looking like a real home soon!!

Also I've never seen a man so persnikity about kitchen appliances. Scott was way more worried about picking out the proper cheese grater than a new sofa. Well, he insists its his kitchen, so I guess that explains it.

~~

Last of all we saw Underworld Evolution last night. MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD, in the form of letters to Derek Jacobi and Len Wiseman:

Dear Mr. Jacobi,

Are you broke? Or did you just think you were in I, Claudius again because of the overly-convoluted historical soap opera-ing (even though it was fictional and I'm more than a little creeped out that Bill Nighy was supposed to be your son)? Or because like in Hamlet your death scene was a half hour monologue, except when you didn't die of blood loss in half an hour you decided to do yourself in with six super-bombs that would've been WAY more useful to all the other characters who had to go kill Super-Bat and Super-Wolf?I'm just saying.

And Dear Mr. Wiseman,

I agree your wife Kate Beckinsdale is totally smokin' hot, but why does she half to go commando in PVC? That has GOT to chafe, even for a vampire. Also what's up with the love scene in the abandoned warehouse, as splinters in the ass just don't make for a truly loving consummation.

Also, did you raid the LOTR set for costumes or something? Cos your medieval vampire armor looks totally Elvish for no reason at all.

Why were you suddenly admitting you were in Hungary this time, when last time you were in Hungary pretending to be Miscellaneous USA and this time you were in Canada pretending to be in Hungary? If you're going to do that no one cares about the annoying Slavic either.

(Random:in Underworld 1 there were 35 guys named Attila involved and in Underworld 2 there was only 1. I like reading the credits.)

So if you make a trilogy, attempt to make some sense, okay? Thanks.

Comments

( 6 comments — Add your .02 )
guitar_ded
Feb. 21st, 2006 04:52 am (UTC)
just saw the aforementioned pvc commando film. ha! lacking in plot and in actual substance of every kind, but still a nice way to waste a couple of hours.

had to escape an early music choral rehearsal and by the time the movie was done all the madrigal action and all the fa la lalala-ing was complete as well.
caitri
Feb. 21st, 2006 03:15 pm (UTC)
My favorite part was reading the credits honestly. It's also kind of funny to me that we're looking at what could be a trilogy that, thus far, seems to have taken about 3 or 4 days...
guitar_ded
Feb. 21st, 2006 05:30 pm (UTC)
is that because you really like credits, because you are obsessive about dudes called 'attilla,' or because you didn't care for the weak plot, lack of verisimilitude in characterisation, etc....

perhaps it's part of a greater 'real time' revolution.
caitri
Feb. 21st, 2006 10:49 pm (UTC)
I really like credits!

How did you find my page, incidentally? I'm having a crop of new visitors and am trying to figure out from whence they came! :)
guitar_ded
Feb. 22nd, 2006 06:17 pm (UTC)
a9.com has a search option that i accidently left on when trying to find a graphic for underworld thingy and your number came up. icerocket blog search i think it's called.
caitri
Feb. 22nd, 2006 11:02 pm (UTC)
Wow, totally random. :) Thanks.
( 6 comments — Add your .02 )

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